Where were we?

I think this is the longest break you and I have taken since we met.
I feel as if every new post is an apology for my previous absence...But I think you and I are better than that. I feel as we mature, our relationship matures with us. Right?

All that garbage basically means that I feel as if we can spend time apart and still come back together and everything just falls into place. Just how it was meant to be.

The only problem when you take a longer-than-usual break from someone there is always more to catch up on...and less to talk about. Unless you want details from every single day from the past almost 4 months (?! SERIOUSLY. WTF), it would be impossible to fill you in on everything. And even if you DID want that...I would like to NOT get carpel tunnel.
Long stories short:
- I like boys, but boys are complicated. However I'm more complicated that meets the eye, and 10x worse than any fella. I've started to feel bad for them.
- One important boy seems to be clinging to a spot in my brain and/or heart. And it's extremely lame. Wish I could shake him...maybe someday...but for now he's just another one that's messing me up.
- One important boy was all wrong for me, yet I liked him more than I could tell anyone. He liked me more than I would've thought. I turned him down, then still liked him, and while trying to show him that I cared I may or may not have lost his trust. Permanently. That's never happened before. What are you supposed to do after losing someones trust? I guess the coming months will (or won't) tell us.
- The most important boy right now and for the past while has been the most patient, funny and nice person I've met in a long time. And more surprisingly, it all seems pretty genuine. Not to be the height of narcissism, but I think this one might be TOO good for me. Actually. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. No. It def is, but what it leads me to think is "After this year, and everything that's happened, how do I stay good enough?"
- I got's a new job. Dream job! I start this Monday...and it should be...interesting to say the least :)
- I'm going to Portugal, for a month this July/August! I feel as if I should settle for a while after that eh?
- OH! And I went to the Cayman Islands for 2 weeks. Love it? There was no other option :)


In VERY short...my life has gone to the boys. And well...I suppose it's been quite a few years now that I've learned NOTHING. Oh boy(s).

PS

I forgot to mention. Boyz are lame. Don't fall for tricks. You and I both know you're too good for that.

Lonely Animals

I'm sure you've been down in the dumps as of late. I'll admit it now, I have been ignoring you. I'm sorry! But I swear, it's not my fault. And it's not you, it's me...and this other blog I've been seeing. It's getting pretty serious. I just hope you can be happy for us...I'll always be here. Around somewhere...but really, when the time is right for you, you should come visit sometime...
http://throughmusicandhardlove.blogspot.com
I think you'd really like it too... <3

NW YRS

HAPPY 2011 beauties!!
I think that 2010 was the one year that didn't feel as surprising when it was over, because so very much happened. Let me give you an idea:
Vampire Weekend
Muse
Costa Rica
OK Go (2nd time, met 1/2 the beautiful boys AND touched Damian <3 )
Grad
First Bar
First Bar in Canada
..Bar Star summer
Invited to a bar by a member of a band!
Australia
Met a lovely boy, that I still like after more than 1 week...! (Same boy as last post, in fact!! ;)

And of course, all of the little glorious memorable (and non-memorable haha) events in between made this year likely the best so far. I know I know. I say that EVERY year. But this time so much happened that I would be silly to say it wasn't the best by far. BUT I do have to add....2011 is already shaping up to be amazing: Going to Montreal 13-17 JAN, 20th Birthday..ugh, MBF concert and Hockey game 12FEB, Cayman Islands...dates pending now...But Oh. Babydoll. I can't wait.
And I promise, you won't ever fade into the background either. I will talk to you very soon.
I hope you had the best New Year's celebration possible and I can't wait to start this journey with you alllllllll over again!!

Hey lordy lordy

Gad. You must think I should be locked away or spayed/neutured eh? But I'm just restless....and a douche.

I am newly smitten. Smoten? Smote? I like a fella, in short. I will speak no more so as not to jinx it this time...just wanted you to be in the loop my lovely.

I swear I will be writing more (and more detailed/interesting) posts v. soon <3

Have you been keeping up with http://throughmusicandhardlove.blogspot.com so far?

Hard Love

Have you noticed over the year (I KNOW, a whole year!) how schitzo I am? No? Well read the last post then read this one:

I'm so completely smitten. New boy than last, but so very smitten. 5 hours on the phone last night kinda pushed me over the edge. Staying up until 5am when waking up is required at 7.30am is not advisable...usually. There are extenuating (and too good to pass up) circumstances to take into consideration of course. Fun times are to be had tomorrow, with said smitten(ee?)(Is that how the tense works? Smittenee...? Well...now it does) I'm pretty excited, but as I am prone to do, will refrain from talking about it (shocker eh?); would like not to jinx it. That'd be a tale of unfortunate events (minus the s, since it's just the one...event...)


PS. I love you.
PPS. I think you'll find http://throughmusicandhardlove.blogspot.com so very tasteful. Yes, finally, new blog up! :) Hope you love it like I do, like a little baby chick.

Someone I can love

Some people really know how to bullshit. Just when you think your radar has been upgraded to foolproof and airtight, someone comes along to shit all over it. Thank gosh it wasn't literal, that would've been messier...physically. Emotionally, I'm filthier now than ever before.

Dog days are over

So I pretty much let the cat out of the bag about my (hopefully) new blog about musak that'll be starting soon...ie tomorrow. First concert will be at the Starlite Room (my hangout...I WISH) where Shout Out Out Out, Christian Hansen and the Autistics, and the Whitsundays will be playing. I'm so crazy excited you wouldn't believe it if you saw it with your own eyes.

BUT, confession. I might, just might, be excited for tomorrow for more than one reason. See, there's this fella (doesn't every tragedy start off somewhere along those lines?). He's pretty darn cute, and well...honestly just all around lovely. WARNING: girly moment...and I'm not lying when I say he is literally everyyything I could've wanted. Which is the part that FREAKS me out. You know, they always say the things in life that are too good to be true are. Everyone always hopes they find an exception...but really, I'm hoping I'm like one of those lottery cases...where the person was at a dead-end job going nowheres in life playing the same numbers every week for 20 years and then one day BAM! $40 million+ winner. That fella would be my lottery winnings, IF I so happen to "win" for reals.

And I hope you weren't fretting too much when I told you I'd be starting another blog. You'll always be my first love (well, not really since I was with MSN spaces before thee)...but you will always be my most memorable. OH and haha kinda made a fakeout there...I'm still going to have this one up and running. Obviously! I wouldn't go through this much work (and typing) to just throw it all away. I believe we can make this relationship work with a little bit of effort, time and a whole lotta drama. Which you know, I am full of ;)

There's only music so that there's new ring tones

I've literally been up to nothing for the past while, in case you were wondering about my lack of posts. Or not...whichever.
BUT now everything has come at once and I feel like you need to be caught up! :
Start new travel job officially either next week or the 15th...Mood? Nervous
Grad on Monday...Mood? Nervous..and Sad
Get to see Christian Hansen and the Autistics, Shout Out Out Out, and the Whitsundays on Nov 13...Mood? Anxious, and Thrilled
Get to see Hollerado, and the Reason on Nov 14...Mood? See mood above
Get to see Dan Mangan on Nov 16...Mood? Curious and Excited

I'm not sure if you've noticed something with the last few points..they're all concerts...and so comes the most important and exciting (but not finalized) news of all...! I will hopefully be starting a brand new blog soon, all about music. I'll be reviewing the ridiculous amounts of shows that I always seem to go to, the CD's that I buy (yes I know it's 2010, and no one buys CD's), and the amazing bands that catch my eye. I should be starting right after the Christian Hansen show, and see how it goes from there! Hopefully all you loyal followers (don't be ashamed, I know you're out there) will follow me on. This will still my my au natural et personal blog, and I will try not to ignore it the best I can. BUT that being said...my new yet-to-be-named blog will be most important for a while...at least until I learn how in the world I'm supposed to write a non-biased blog on music...if you've read this site, you'll know what I mean...

Lazy Susan, turn yourself around

My total bad for ditching out on the past month, but you know I have a good reason. Scratch that, the best reason. As mention, extremely briefly, I was in the land of Oz, where dreams really do come true (or something less b.s-ey than that maybe).
Let's get right to the core: as always you missed me, as always I loved where I was, as always I came back, and as always I wish I could've stayed. Even more so this time because even though I've never visited the worst-off third world nations, I haven't really traveled to any other developed countries other than the one I live in and the one below.

Australia was just like home, but different. And in the best way possible. I thought it would be totally different. Like having accents and being on the underneath of the world, for a start. And then you realize, when you're there, that you're the one with the accent, the one who's foreign, the one who's interesting, and the one who is still right-side-up. It was being in the completely familiar world that I've been in for all my years, but somehow...better.

I'm not sure if it was better because time was fleeting, because it was new, or because it was just...better. But in any case, it was my first time but no way in hell will it be the last. It was the most eye-opening (which will sound exaggerated and lame I'm sure) trip I've been on thus far because I had had so many perceptions of what it would be like...But it was even better to find out that things don't have to make a 180 to turn you around.

So.

Btw. In Australia aka Aussieville aka Oz aka the Land-Down-Unda aka Pleasentville. Don't wait up sugar.

I ain't gonna tell a lie

I want to edit the last post...but will instead just post again...Cellular devices are the devil's advocate. They are terribly too convenient and should be outlawed.
That is why everything bad that happens, happens.

ERRRYTHANG.

Forget you

So I know again, I've been ignoring you as of late. But honestly it's not been my fault really. I do love you, and I cherish the moments we have together...But life is meant to be lived (or some b.s like that). I know you don't do well with cliches but I have nothing else to offer but my undying love and apologies (even though it will happen again...). Don't worry though, it's not like there's someone else in the picture or anything...I just can't handle an intense relationship right now.

Do you still wanna be caught up? Or do you just not give a fck anymore? Well I'll tell, you listen (or at least look in my direction and pretend to listen? That would be most appreciative lover).
The gist of my life at the moment (as is the gist of my life most moments):
Boys complicate everything, but life would be excruciatingly boring without them.

1 Boy doesn't know what he wants and is too chicken to break up with a chicka, but has no problem stringing her along. Also, not the nicest thing in the world to not come straight out and tell me anything about the situation...Man up and let the cookie crumb where it may? Or some sort of philosophical saying to that effect.

1 Boy knows what he wants, which happens to be me, and feelings are not exactly reciprocated. My bad for temporarily leading him on, but his bad for taking it so seriously! Boys aren't supposed to do that kinda thaang (I thought). My bad for not telling him we should just be friends sooner...as well as holding boy #1's hand in front of him last night. ALSO my bad for playing Sociables (which I have concluded is the root of all evil; formula for why to follow once I work out all the kinks in the system)

1 Boy likes me crazy much but is crazy far away, and younger than me, and pretty immature, and also does not know what he wants.

1 Boy likes me crazy much but is crazy far away, and younger than me, and not immature, but is the best friend of boy #3

Etc. Boys each have their own drama and are getting to be too much to handle. See this is why playas have to shut off their feelings, it gets to be too much, and some people just need to be dropped. But how can I drop one friend and not the other. That doesn't make sense now does it. I know I'm rambling and making excuses...

I'm just thrilled that I leave for Australia on Tuesday aka 4 days. Holy mother, 4 days. I didn't even realize it was that quick. Oh FML, I thought you knew already? Did you not.....? But love, you'll always be in my heart I promise. No Aussie boy could ever take me from the beauty that is you. I promise to TRY to write to you before I leave. If not, I'm sure you will be like my diary while I'm away. IF NOT, then I love you, you'll stay infatuated with me, and we will speak upon my return.

P.S. Boys are squishier than once thought
P.P.S. Boys are apparently people too, try to keep this in mind when treating them like a typical boy would treat a girl. Or not. Since they never seem to remember that we have feelings too.
P.P.P.S. I lied about Sociables being the root of all evil. Boys are. OK that was harsh, but it's 0754 and I slept at 0200 or so...it's a wonder I can type at all.
P.P.P.P.S You are too gorgeous for me, and I don't deserve to be in the presense of such a majestical being < 3
P(X5).S. I'm sorry for being so blunt about lads in front of you/to your face. But I feel like you're the only one to not give me the "I'm-ashamed-of-you-permanently" look. Right?


OH and note to self: stop partying on weekdays. It never leads to good things. Ever.

The Cave

Crazy Epic Weekend. Best of life.
Will tell all, if you are lucky. I want to tell you the gist. I promise.
It`ll happen; be patient, loves.
You know yo loves thee.

-September Long 2010.

Still not over you

Can't believe that after all the progress I was making as the ultimate playa, just became one of the "typical bar girls".
I feel worse than the sh*t you accidentally step in while taking a leisurely stroll through the park.

But then again, isn't this what I had wanted?

Might sound f'd up now, Oh well

So, this is the last night of the week off before practicum starts...WHICH MEANS that it starts tomorrow morning!
So so so much happened this week...but instead of coming home and telling you all about it like a good girl...I was living it (not like a bad girl though, no worries haha)
Some weird stuff happened, that I will be happy to tell you about soon enough (before I forget, so the story won't be that far away :)

I'll take a small leap and guess that Imma be SUPER bored for the next while, since I'll be coming home after work...with friends working crazy stupid, awkward shifts...Well then, doesn't this just take me back to 1 year ago, when I wanted to off myself because I was so insanely bored.
ANYWAY, we shall see what we see, shall we?

Again, I feel that I should remind you, this week was so stupid crazy. I can't wait to fill you in bff < 3

Tonight's gonna be a good night

Yeah, I know, I can't believe I actually used that as a title either...

So, grad tonight?!
Can't wait, but so sad :(
I will tell you more later...Hells I have the whole week to talk to you, for once..again :)


NickCarterTonightLadies? Imma be all up on that.

That's what Imma do till it's over

Just finished the last exam of the year. School is over.

Wait, did I really just say that? Is it actually TRUE?
No more BARS/MARS/PARS, Apollo, Matrix, Bow, Port, UNESCO's, Expiry dates, Business Lounge Lunches, Staying afterschool for 5 hours...well most of those anyway...at least for 1 week.

I feel so..many things, but it all comes down to confused. WTF Am I supposed to do now?

Update last post aka The boy is a monster

I LIED. They are 100x worse than I could've ever IMAGINED.
I mean really.
Who pretends to have a girlfriend that he kissed, and makes a girl cry. AND says that he's crying. AND goes on and on about it the whole day....and then says "I'm lying, I don't have another girlfriend. It was a care test, and YAY!!! You passed!!! :D"

Seriously. Is this what the world has come to? Is this a new "thing"...?!?!
Love, I wish, I wish I could tell you more, but I fear that your precious brain would IMplode.

In conclusion: FML. Again.

Why you wanna trip on me

Never thought boys were as confusing as I think they are right now.

Expect an Edit/Re: for this post...