Lazy Susan, turn yourself around

My total bad for ditching out on the past month, but you know I have a good reason. Scratch that, the best reason. As mention, extremely briefly, I was in the land of Oz, where dreams really do come true (or something less b.s-ey than that maybe).
Let's get right to the core: as always you missed me, as always I loved where I was, as always I came back, and as always I wish I could've stayed. Even more so this time because even though I've never visited the worst-off third world nations, I haven't really traveled to any other developed countries other than the one I live in and the one below.

Australia was just like home, but different. And in the best way possible. I thought it would be totally different. Like having accents and being on the underneath of the world, for a start. And then you realize, when you're there, that you're the one with the accent, the one who's foreign, the one who's interesting, and the one who is still right-side-up. It was being in the completely familiar world that I've been in for all my years, but somehow...better.

I'm not sure if it was better because time was fleeting, because it was new, or because it was just...better. But in any case, it was my first time but no way in hell will it be the last. It was the most eye-opening (which will sound exaggerated and lame I'm sure) trip I've been on thus far because I had had so many perceptions of what it would be like...But it was even better to find out that things don't have to make a 180 to turn you around.

Forget you

So I know again, I've been ignoring you as of late. But honestly it's not been my fault really. I do love you, and I cherish the moments we have together...But life is meant to be lived (or some b.s like that). I know you don't do well with cliches but I have nothing else to offer but my undying love and apologies (even though it will happen again...). Don't worry though, it's not like there's someone else in the picture or anything...I just can't handle an intense relationship right now.

Do you still wanna be caught up? Or do you just not give a fck anymore? Well I'll tell, you listen (or at least look in my direction and pretend to listen? That would be most appreciative lover).
The gist of my life at the moment (as is the gist of my life most moments):
Boys complicate everything, but life would be excruciatingly boring without them.

1 Boy doesn't know what he wants and is too chicken to break up with a chicka, but has no problem stringing her along. Also, not the nicest thing in the world to not come straight out and tell me anything about the situation...Man up and let the cookie crumb where it may? Or some sort of philosophical saying to that effect.

1 Boy knows what he wants, which happens to be me, and feelings are not exactly reciprocated. My bad for temporarily leading him on, but his bad for taking it so seriously! Boys aren't supposed to do that kinda thaang (I thought). My bad for not telling him we should just be friends sooner...as well as holding boy #1's hand in front of him last night. ALSO my bad for playing Sociables (which I have concluded is the root of all evil; formula for why to follow once I work out all the kinks in the system)

1 Boy likes me crazy much but is crazy far away, and younger than me, and pretty immature, and also does not know what he wants.

1 Boy likes me crazy much but is crazy far away, and younger than me, and not immature, but is the best friend of boy #3

Etc. Boys each have their own drama and are getting to be too much to handle. See this is why playas have to shut off their feelings, it gets to be too much, and some people just need to be dropped. But how can I drop one friend and not the other. That doesn't make sense now does it. I know I'm rambling and making excuses...

I'm just thrilled that I leave for Australia on Tuesday aka 4 days. Holy mother, 4 days. I didn't even realize it was that quick. Oh FML, I thought you knew already? Did you not.....? But love, you'll always be in my heart I promise. No Aussie boy could ever take me from the beauty that is you. I promise to TRY to write to you before I leave. If not, I'm sure you will be like my diary while I'm away. IF NOT, then I love you, you'll stay infatuated with me, and we will speak upon my return.

P.S. Boys are squishier than once thought
P.P.S. Boys are apparently people too, try to keep this in mind when treating them like a typical boy would treat a girl. Or not. Since they never seem to remember that we have feelings too.
P.P.P.S. I lied about Sociables being the root of all evil. Boys are. OK that was harsh, but it's 0754 and I slept at 0200 or so...it's a wonder I can type at all.
P.P.P.P.S You are too gorgeous for me, and I don't deserve to be in the presense of such a majestical being < 3
P(X5).S. I'm sorry for being so blunt about lads in front of you/to your face. But I feel like you're the only one to not give me the "I'm-ashamed-of-you-permanently" look. Right?


OH and note to self: stop partying on weekdays. It never leads to good things. Ever.

Land Down Under

Doing this Australia project for Destinations II is awesome. I might post it after I'm all done. But..really...would you wanna take time out of your precious life to read my hard work? See, I doubt it. But I'm so happy that it's for Aussie :) totally helps with the September trip we're planning!

2010 already seems like it's gonna be SWEET
Feb 13-21 Hamilton
May 9-20 Costa Rica
mid-September ( for 1 month) Australia

March 14 Vampire Weekend
March 29 Muse

And that's just what I already know, in January!!