Thursday, April 29, 2010
My Type - Baby Dollz w/ lyrics
Lyrics are typed by me, since there aren't any that I can find on the web at all. Some parts are missing, and I'm not sure if it's all totally right...but this is what it sounds like to me... :)
...Can you help me with this real fly guy
He just gets down with the seriousness of my type
His swag is peaking, its sky high
Hes fresh to death I hoping he don't fly high
Something bout his high tops
The notion makes my eyes pop
He says he makes my heart stop
Hes like a ticking time bomb
And I'm on cloud nine rocking in his arms tonight
He gets it any way he likes cuz he knows hes just my type
You've got a serious case, case of my type
You're just the type of boy, boy that I like
...
The way he looks at me
He wants a baby doll
And I'm a baby doll
I like his tats, his swag his clean
His game is tight, tighter than my Frankie jeans
I see him on every scene,
Brand new everything
I normally play hard to get but I would give him everything
Something bout his high tops
The notion makes my eyes pop
His dancing makes my heart stop
Hes like a ticking time bomb
And I'm on cloud nine rocking in his arms tonight
He gets it any way he likes cuz he knows hes just my type
[Chorus]
You've got a serious case, case of my type
You're just the type of boy, boy that I like
..
The way he looks at me
He wants a baby doll
And I'm a baby doll
Me and my girls are the baby dollz dollz
Him and his boys like the baby dollz dolzz
We in the party like the baby dollz dollz
We get it poppin' like the baby dollz dollz
[Chorus]
You've got a serious case, case of my type
You're just the type of boy, boy that I like
...
The way he looks at me
He wants a baby doll
And I'm a baby doll (repeat)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Re: Cause I'm a Ninja
Re: Entry from April 11, 2010
So...It's weird that I'm "Re-ing" other entries huh? I think so too. But really, this is what I should be doing: following you up on past events. Unfortunately.
So. That Facebook drahhhma? You have no idea how much drama it is. Well...was..LOL
The WORST part of it though? Even after all that accidental "work", I don't even think N hates me! I know, right? You're probably thinking WTF. Like me...hopefully. Otherwise there might just be something wrong with you too...But really, what in the world do I have to do to get this person to not just seriously dislike me, but hate me. I feel like I've done everything, well the worst things anyway. Any thoughts? No? Well, I'm sure this isn't a common problem. But it would make life oh, so much easier.
But really, WTF! I've been the worst kind of person. If you (N) hate me, I'll hate you, and everything will then be wrapped up in a nice little package.
PS. I feel like a TOTAL wuss except wuss isn't the right word for it... I would be the worst evil mastermind ever. Get halfway through and then spill the beans about everything to someone walking down the street past my universal death laser and eventually have to go to an insane asylum (only cause the judge who ruled my case was jealous and wanted my plan for himself) (Wow. Perhaps a nice padded, white room with a cozy white jacket wouldn't be such a bad place right now...)
So...It's weird that I'm "Re-ing" other entries huh? I think so too. But really, this is what I should be doing: following you up on past events. Unfortunately.
So. That Facebook drahhhma? You have no idea how much drama it is. Well...was..LOL
The WORST part of it though? Even after all that accidental "work", I don't even think N hates me! I know, right? You're probably thinking WTF. Like me...hopefully. Otherwise there might just be something wrong with you too...But really, what in the world do I have to do to get this person to not just seriously dislike me, but hate me. I feel like I've done everything, well the worst things anyway. Any thoughts? No? Well, I'm sure this isn't a common problem. But it would make life oh, so much easier.
But really, WTF! I've been the worst kind of person. If you (N) hate me, I'll hate you, and everything will then be wrapped up in a nice little package.
PS. I feel like a TOTAL wuss except wuss isn't the right word for it... I would be the worst evil mastermind ever. Get halfway through and then spill the beans about everything to someone walking down the street past my universal death laser and eventually have to go to an insane asylum (only cause the judge who ruled my case was jealous and wanted my plan for himself) (Wow. Perhaps a nice padded, white room with a cozy white jacket wouldn't be such a bad place right now...)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Re: WTF? (There's just this thing about ya)
Re: Entry from April 10, 2010
PLEASE. SOMEONE. ANYONE. Shoot me in the foot. Both feet, so I'll learn.
PLEASE. SOMEONE. ANYONE. Shoot me in the foot. Both feet, so I'll learn.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
My favourites from the Christian Louboutin Spring/Summer 2010 collection...
How can this not be your favourite?! It's definitely mine :)
Words of Wisdom
A few pieces of advice that you should hereby treasure:
1. Don't ever play with a player. They know all your tricks.
2. Don't screw over a b-tch either! They know just how to get you :)
3. Don't assume that I have feelings, because I don't.
4. (A sub-section of #3) Don't assume that I will feel guilty, because (if I hate you) I will definitely not.
But, most importantly, don't get involved with my crazy.
1. Don't ever play with a player. They know all your tricks.
2. Don't screw over a b-tch either! They know just how to get you :)
3. Don't assume that I have feelings, because I don't.
4. (A sub-section of #3) Don't assume that I will feel guilty, because (if I hate you) I will definitely not.
But, most importantly, don't get involved with my crazy.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Oh, what a glorious night...Part Deux
As we pull out of the Wal-mart parking lot and are turning onto the main road, the car starts to slow down...a LOT...to a crawl! So I says to Ashley "What's wrong...what's going on?!" She says the words that everyone dreads..."I think we ran out of gas"
So here we are...like 1/2 hr from the centre of the city...with no gas. She turns off the car, turns on the head lights and starts to think...Then she starts the car again. AND it works fine! I begin to have hope! Until...we reach the red light...and the car dies. For real this time. Thank the Lord we were on a small hill. So I tell her to put the car in neutral, and we get down to the side of the road aka an almost freeway, Terwillegar Dr/Anthony Henday.
So, here we are two stranded damsels in (mild) distress. Ashley calls her mom to bring us gas (since she didn't bring her AMA card with her...ACK!). Now, the waiting game begins. As everyone knows (or at least now you will), you should not stay in a vehicle that is parked on the side of the road. Luckily, Ashley had gone to Hawrelak park the day before (because of the amazing weather, of course), so she had a blanket! And...for some reason, a massive amount of scarves. So as the night got colder we watched the sunset...except not really because we were on the wrong side of the road for that...we got to see the beautiful view of the new complexes and houses being built complete with a giant barren field in the foreground!
Anyway, as we watched the lights of the condos flicker in the distance we start wondeirng if anyone would be a good Samaritan and actually stop for us. You know, just to see if we needed help. But no...no, why would we?! We're just two small girls, stranded on the side of a freeway...Of course you don't have to stop, good people! After about 1/2 hr a truck stops. The look of shock on our faces is...hard to break. An older gentleman (I say gentleman now because...of what comes after...) gets out of his truck and asks us if we need anything. We tell him no...no, but thank you so much! you've been the only one to stop! thank you! He soon drives off after realizing we really don't need anything.
A few minutes later: another truck stops (only trucks stopped for us!...odd) except this one seems...different. It backs up all the way so that it's about two feet in front of Maurice (Ashley's *female* car). So we see that there are about 4 people in this truck...and the driver is getting out. The reason I'm saying this is because I thought we were going to get killed. Really, I did. This big workboot steps out of the truck, followed by another one. A man comes around the corner; he looked like a construction worker or some such, and he was still wearing a reflective vest. Except...he didn't seem very "helpful". This is not to be sterotypical or anything, but just a description: he was "Middle Eastern", though I have a feeling the country exactly. So, this..."good samaritan" asks us is we need anything...We say the same thing as before "No, we're fine, but thanks for stopping, we only need gas, her mom is bringing it to us". Except with this guy...he doesn't stop there. He says "Oh, gas? I have some"
He goes to his truck, and gets a gerrican (sp?) of gas. As he is filling up the tank he starts to get even weirder. 1) Non stop eye-contact...in a very weird way. 2)He starts asking ...questions that get progressively stranger i.e Aren't you a little young to be driving (to Ashley); How old are you (first to Ashley then to me); What nationality are you (to me); What are you two doing tonight (to us....) - in response to this last one Ashley says, "Oh we're studying. We're in University you know" and he says "Oh (laugh) yeah right".
Just at that moment, Ashley's mom pulls up. THANK YOU JEBUS! This guy still won't go. Ashley's mom gets out of the car...he's still there. Her mom says "Oh thank you, but we're ok now" ...He's...still...there.
FINALLY he starts walking to the car, after Ashley gets it started. And we are safe in the comforting arms of Maurice. Ashley's mom follows behind us (while we use the borrowed gas) until we get to a gas station. While the creepers are still driving ahead of us.
So, that was our eventful evening. Hope you enjoyed. We almost sh*t a brick.
So here we are...like 1/2 hr from the centre of the city...with no gas. She turns off the car, turns on the head lights and starts to think...Then she starts the car again. AND it works fine! I begin to have hope! Until...we reach the red light...and the car dies. For real this time. Thank the Lord we were on a small hill. So I tell her to put the car in neutral, and we get down to the side of the road aka an almost freeway, Terwillegar Dr/Anthony Henday.
So, here we are two stranded damsels in (mild) distress. Ashley calls her mom to bring us gas (since she didn't bring her AMA card with her...ACK!). Now, the waiting game begins. As everyone knows (or at least now you will), you should not stay in a vehicle that is parked on the side of the road. Luckily, Ashley had gone to Hawrelak park the day before (because of the amazing weather, of course), so she had a blanket! And...for some reason, a massive amount of scarves. So as the night got colder we watched the sunset...except not really because we were on the wrong side of the road for that...we got to see the beautiful view of the new complexes and houses being built complete with a giant barren field in the foreground!
Anyway, as we watched the lights of the condos flicker in the distance we start wondeirng if anyone would be a good Samaritan and actually stop for us. You know, just to see if we needed help. But no...no, why would we?! We're just two small girls, stranded on the side of a freeway...Of course you don't have to stop, good people! After about 1/2 hr a truck stops. The look of shock on our faces is...hard to break. An older gentleman (I say gentleman now because...of what comes after...) gets out of his truck and asks us if we need anything. We tell him no...no, but thank you so much! you've been the only one to stop! thank you! He soon drives off after realizing we really don't need anything.
A few minutes later: another truck stops (only trucks stopped for us!...odd) except this one seems...different. It backs up all the way so that it's about two feet in front of Maurice (Ashley's *female* car). So we see that there are about 4 people in this truck...and the driver is getting out. The reason I'm saying this is because I thought we were going to get killed. Really, I did. This big workboot steps out of the truck, followed by another one. A man comes around the corner; he looked like a construction worker or some such, and he was still wearing a reflective vest. Except...he didn't seem very "helpful". This is not to be sterotypical or anything, but just a description: he was "Middle Eastern", though I have a feeling the country exactly. So, this..."good samaritan" asks us is we need anything...We say the same thing as before "No, we're fine, but thanks for stopping, we only need gas, her mom is bringing it to us". Except with this guy...he doesn't stop there. He says "Oh, gas? I have some"
He goes to his truck, and gets a gerrican (sp?) of gas. As he is filling up the tank he starts to get even weirder. 1) Non stop eye-contact...in a very weird way. 2)He starts asking ...questions that get progressively stranger i.e Aren't you a little young to be driving (to Ashley); How old are you (first to Ashley then to me); What nationality are you (to me); What are you two doing tonight (to us....) - in response to this last one Ashley says, "Oh we're studying. We're in University you know" and he says "Oh (laugh) yeah right".
Just at that moment, Ashley's mom pulls up. THANK YOU JEBUS! This guy still won't go. Ashley's mom gets out of the car...he's still there. Her mom says "Oh thank you, but we're ok now" ...He's...still...there.
FINALLY he starts walking to the car, after Ashley gets it started. And we are safe in the comforting arms of Maurice. Ashley's mom follows behind us (while we use the borrowed gas) until we get to a gas station. While the creepers are still driving ahead of us.
So, that was our eventful evening. Hope you enjoyed. We almost sh*t a brick.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Oh, what a glorious night...
Oh, Ashley.
Friday, April 16. It started off as any other day would. School, test, home. Call Ashley...we were going to have a day out looking for new swimsuits. Everything is going as normal: we drive to WEM and start perusing the shops. I find a swimsuit, but alas there was nothing that caught Ashley's eye. I suggested we go to Wal-Mart. You know, cause they have some SWEET OP suits. I added..."We should totally go to Taco del Mar", to satisfy our obsession that started with a certain Chipotle's in NYC.
The meal...excellent, as always. We drive into the Wal-Mart parking lot and there is a stop sign to the right. Ashley believes that it's not for us, but for another side of traffic...we yeild the intersection, since there's no one around, and continue at abt 10km/hr. This...road-rager comes careening down the other direction and tries to make a hard turn in front of us! We stop, he stops, he yells, he swears. We freak. We continue through the parking lot and see this guy following us on the other aisle of the lot. Ashley suggests "Do you wanna go to a another Wal-Mart". "Uh...YEAH!" I respond.
So, on our way to Terwillegar Drive because of the crazy rude scary man. Terwillegar is wayy south, and involves going ona few "freeways". Anyway, we finish our shopping at the Wal-Mart and are on the way back into the "city" and to Ashley's house...
TO BE CONTINUED!
FOR REAL!
Friday, April 16. It started off as any other day would. School, test, home. Call Ashley...we were going to have a day out looking for new swimsuits. Everything is going as normal: we drive to WEM and start perusing the shops. I find a swimsuit, but alas there was nothing that caught Ashley's eye. I suggested we go to Wal-Mart. You know, cause they have some SWEET OP suits. I added..."We should totally go to Taco del Mar", to satisfy our obsession that started with a certain Chipotle's in NYC.
The meal...excellent, as always. We drive into the Wal-Mart parking lot and there is a stop sign to the right. Ashley believes that it's not for us, but for another side of traffic...we yeild the intersection, since there's no one around, and continue at abt 10km/hr. This...road-rager comes careening down the other direction and tries to make a hard turn in front of us! We stop, he stops, he yells, he swears. We freak. We continue through the parking lot and see this guy following us on the other aisle of the lot. Ashley suggests "Do you wanna go to a another Wal-Mart". "Uh...YEAH!" I respond.
So, on our way to Terwillegar Drive because of the crazy rude scary man. Terwillegar is wayy south, and involves going ona few "freeways". Anyway, we finish our shopping at the Wal-Mart and are on the way back into the "city" and to Ashley's house...
TO BE CONTINUED!
FOR REAL!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
One of the many reasons I love OK Go
I've been waiting for months, waiting for years, waiting for you to change.
Aw, but there ain't much that's dumber, there ain't much that's dumber
than pinning your hopes on a change in another.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another.
So I been sitting around, wasting my time,
wondering what you been doing.
Aw, and it ain't real forgiving, it ain't real forgiving
sitting here picturing someone else living.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another.
I've been hoping for months, hoping for years, hoping I might forget.
Aw, but it don't get much dumber, it don't get much dumber
than trying to forget a girl when you love her.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another
When? When? Why not now? Why not me? Why not me?
Aw, but there ain't much that's dumber, there ain't much that's dumber
than pinning your hopes on a change in another.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another.
So I been sitting around, wasting my time,
wondering what you been doing.
Aw, and it ain't real forgiving, it ain't real forgiving
sitting here picturing someone else living.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another.
I've been hoping for months, hoping for years, hoping I might forget.
Aw, but it don't get much dumber, it don't get much dumber
than trying to forget a girl when you love her.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another
When? When? Why not now? Why not me? Why not me?
Monday, April 12, 2010
Dear Dumb [expletive]
Facebook can only access so many people. I find a world-wide website a much better channel for thought.
A few things to say about this "note" before I actually respond.
1) Learn to put commas in the right place. You always misplace them, and it's become a pet peeve of mine.
2) It's funny that you think "v" would ever talk bad about me without me knowing
3) You've never "listened to me" since you've barely heard my voice
4) Obviously I'd know who I am. I don't have an identity crisis like someone we know...
Alright now:
Dear Dumb [expletive], <--that is where the comma goes btw
I don't like you. I have never liked you since I heard your name when I found out you were cheating with my boyfriend. You are a sl*t, and there are many stories, including ones from your friends, to prove it. I never wanted to get mixed up in your "relationship" (if you can call it that). You should tell your "boyfriend" to stop being so in love with me, if you really want anything to change. I can't change who I am, it's not my fault that he still wants me (correction always has wanted me) more than you (Yes, I know he will deny it, but don't worry the truth comes out anyway). If you want me to say sorry for that I will, but I am not the one you should be having a chat with. I shouldn't be the one to blame for "his" shortcomings, and the issues that you two have with each other. Nor should I be to blame for the numerous times you two have "broken-up"; I was never talking to your "boyfriend" when you broke up and it is not my fault that he would come to me to talk about how you hurt him. Another apology: sorry for being a nice person.
Please don't take your anger at the world, your "boyfriend", or gargantuan body out on me. I'm sorry God hates you. Take it out on people who will, in the future, give a rat's ass.
Sincerely,
Your Pal,
"Ugly B*tch"
PS (commas don't go here either!!!) If it makes you want to die...then just please, do it already.
PPS Please don't make me have to sully my beautiful site with drama about you ever again. It's unbecoming and unnecessary.
in response to:
Dear, Ugly Bitch
Looking at you, Listening to you, Hearing a certain someone (V) talk about you, makes me want to die!
:)
Ps, You know who you are
A few things to say about this "note" before I actually respond.
1) Learn to put commas in the right place. You always misplace them, and it's become a pet peeve of mine.
2) It's funny that you think "v" would ever talk bad about me without me knowing
3) You've never "listened to me" since you've barely heard my voice
4) Obviously I'd know who I am. I don't have an identity crisis like someone we know...
Alright now:
Dear Dumb [expletive], <--that is where the comma goes btw
I don't like you. I have never liked you since I heard your name when I found out you were cheating with my boyfriend. You are a sl*t, and there are many stories, including ones from your friends, to prove it. I never wanted to get mixed up in your "relationship" (if you can call it that). You should tell your "boyfriend" to stop being so in love with me, if you really want anything to change. I can't change who I am, it's not my fault that he still wants me (correction always has wanted me) more than you (Yes, I know he will deny it, but don't worry the truth comes out anyway). If you want me to say sorry for that I will, but I am not the one you should be having a chat with. I shouldn't be the one to blame for "his" shortcomings, and the issues that you two have with each other. Nor should I be to blame for the numerous times you two have "broken-up"; I was never talking to your "boyfriend" when you broke up and it is not my fault that he would come to me to talk about how you hurt him. Another apology: sorry for being a nice person.
Please don't take your anger at the world, your "boyfriend", or gargantuan body out on me. I'm sorry God hates you. Take it out on people who will, in the future, give a rat's ass.
Sincerely,
Your Pal,
"Ugly B*tch"
PS (commas don't go here either!!!) If it makes you want to die...then just please, do it already.
PPS Please don't make me have to sully my beautiful site with drama about you ever again. It's unbecoming and unnecessary.
in response to:
Dear, Ugly Bitch
Looking at you, Listening to you, Hearing a certain someone (V) talk about you, makes me want to die!
:)
Ps, You know who you are
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Cause I'm a ninja
ZOMG I lol at Facehbook drahma.
Sadly, I may have instigated some today.
Sadder to say: it was fun...
I finally like that N hates me. It's much easier to hate someone when they hate you back, unlike before when he'd cling to me like a lost puppy. Really, how can you kick a lost puppy? It's much easier to bitch-slap a grizzly bear.
Grizzly bear metaphor? That must mean it's time for bed.
Sadly, I may have instigated some today.
Sadder to say: it was fun...
I finally like that N hates me. It's much easier to hate someone when they hate you back, unlike before when he'd cling to me like a lost puppy. Really, how can you kick a lost puppy? It's much easier to bitch-slap a grizzly bear.
Grizzly bear metaphor? That must mean it's time for bed.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
WTF? (There's just this thing about ya)
OMFG
Excuse my language, bad grammar and the follow emo-tastic entry. I haven't yet read my last entry, so I'm not positive but I think this one follows along the same lines. But I am seriously starting to feel like I should be wearing heavy eye make up, teased hair and bangs in a 45 degree angle.
I know that I'll never understand them (N and F), but I wish and plead and HOPE that the next time I will know better than to get involved. EVERYTIME I say this, everytime I make a fool out of myself when N leaves me behind for F. Everytime I say "Nope, not again. I'll talk to them out of the goodness of my heart but never again will we be friends." Not only do we become friends but even he says that it just all falls right back into place. The stupidest part? It usually only takes a day or a conversation. That's how pathetic I am. After everything that happens I can't even stay mad or angry or dissapointed or hurt for ONE conversation. I don't know what it is about him. With every other single person who's even slightly hurt me or pissed me off, I've cut them out like ...a coral reef sting...? But with him, I have no idea what it is...just like I have NO idea WHY in the world they keep getting back together. After the cheating, the lying, the hitting, the yelling, the going-out-with-every-other-kind-of-person, he STILL runs back to her when she calls. I hate that. I hate her for doing it, and I now hate him the same for continuing it; even after all we talk about and all he talks [LIES] about he still OBVIOUSLY goes back.
Most of all, and worst of all, I hate myself for being such a pathetic wuss, and continuing to let either of them anywhere into my life.
No more.
Please someone shoot me in the foot if I do it again.
ps. expect me to have stubs at the bottom of my legs during the next entry.
pps. see, i even know it'll happen
ppps. gorsh, i hate myself.
Excuse my language, bad grammar and the follow emo-tastic entry. I haven't yet read my last entry, so I'm not positive but I think this one follows along the same lines. But I am seriously starting to feel like I should be wearing heavy eye make up, teased hair and bangs in a 45 degree angle.
I know that I'll never understand them (N and F), but I wish and plead and HOPE that the next time I will know better than to get involved. EVERYTIME I say this, everytime I make a fool out of myself when N leaves me behind for F. Everytime I say "Nope, not again. I'll talk to them out of the goodness of my heart but never again will we be friends." Not only do we become friends but even he says that it just all falls right back into place. The stupidest part? It usually only takes a day or a conversation. That's how pathetic I am. After everything that happens I can't even stay mad or angry or dissapointed or hurt for ONE conversation. I don't know what it is about him. With every other single person who's even slightly hurt me or pissed me off, I've cut them out like ...a coral reef sting...? But with him, I have no idea what it is...just like I have NO idea WHY in the world they keep getting back together. After the cheating, the lying, the hitting, the yelling, the going-out-with-every-other-kind-of-person, he STILL runs back to her when she calls. I hate that. I hate her for doing it, and I now hate him the same for continuing it; even after all we talk about and all he talks [LIES] about he still OBVIOUSLY goes back.
Most of all, and worst of all, I hate myself for being such a pathetic wuss, and continuing to let either of them anywhere into my life.
No more.
Please someone shoot me in the foot if I do it again.
ps. expect me to have stubs at the bottom of my legs during the next entry.
pps. see, i even know it'll happen
ppps. gorsh, i hate myself.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Something is not right with me
Is insanely outraged at how rude people can be. Not just regular strangers either...but people that you could trust and that you were "friends with".
What does that word even mean nowadays anyway? To me a friend is something you have things in common with and that you also have a connection with...you can't have one without the other; someone who you can trust; someone who is loyal to you - someone who would rather defend you and become an outcast themselves than back-stab you; someone who genuinely cares about you, your interests, your feelings.
Considering all those things...I think that the number of true, by-my-definition friends that I've had in my life I can count on one hand. And I don't even need to use all my fingers!
Oh and a special quality that a friend needs to have for me, besides all of the above...? *I* need to not get bored/annoyed/have strangling feelings for them.
Now, this is not to say I haven't had a lot of people who are friendly, concerned (genuinely or not...), or nice to me. I have. But "friends"? They are extremely few and far between. For the most part it's been the loyalty/back-stabbing OR the me-getting-ridiculously-annoyed-of-them obstacles. For example, "N" will come back into my life every few months (why I allow this I doubt I'll ever know), and say how "he's" "missed me" and that "I'm important" and that "he" "likes how we can talk to each other". Now, let me let you in on a very important fact: "He" only does this when his (pardon my language) skank-ho-bag girlfriend and "he" are not getting along or on one of their many many break-ups. During these times "he" will never fail to A) get me to talk to "him" again B)get me to be friends with "him" again C)profess his love/like (depending on how long they've been apart for eg 1 day...1 week? Yeah, it never lasts long...) for me and how he wants to be with me.
And even though this is a pattern that hasn't stopped in oh...about 3 1/2 years, I never stop falling for the ruse (excepting the undying love bit). And that just makes me disappointed in myself! How could I, the person who has willingly and voluntarily cut people out of her life permanently so many times not do it to this person? (Quick segway, but not really because these are examples: Two "best friends" in junior high said "I don't like you anymore" so I stopped talking to them the next day and forever since. A "best friend", who I became friends with because of those two other girls, was the first and only person to know that I liked a boy-best-friend for the past year. She moves away. She didn't know him. They meet, because I introduce them so she can finally know who I'm talking about all the time...and begin dating a month later, after she claims "she didn't know I liked him at all" ---anyway....back to the topic at fingers) Because. I'm best friends with "his" sister. Ugh. How my life attracts drama like moths to a flickering light bulb on my porch.
I just wish that I could one day have friends (more than the one...and that one...the sister of the douchebag? even her...after 3 1/2 years, I'm on the outs with...but this is the only other time I've actually felt hurt about losing a friend) that are genuinely loyal, and care about me. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps...maybe I'm just being kooky....but a girl can dream, right?
Oh. Whatevs, I dont need your permission! I will dream anyway...bitches.
No. Kidding. I didn't mean that. <3
What does that word even mean nowadays anyway? To me a friend is something you have things in common with and that you also have a connection with...you can't have one without the other; someone who you can trust; someone who is loyal to you - someone who would rather defend you and become an outcast themselves than back-stab you; someone who genuinely cares about you, your interests, your feelings.
Considering all those things...I think that the number of true, by-my-definition friends that I've had in my life I can count on one hand. And I don't even need to use all my fingers!
Oh and a special quality that a friend needs to have for me, besides all of the above...? *I* need to not get bored/annoyed/have strangling feelings for them.
Now, this is not to say I haven't had a lot of people who are friendly, concerned (genuinely or not...), or nice to me. I have. But "friends"? They are extremely few and far between. For the most part it's been the loyalty/back-stabbing OR the me-getting-ridiculously-annoyed-of-them obstacles. For example, "N" will come back into my life every few months (why I allow this I doubt I'll ever know), and say how "he's" "missed me" and that "I'm important" and that "he" "likes how we can talk to each other". Now, let me let you in on a very important fact: "He" only does this when his (pardon my language) skank-ho-bag girlfriend and "he" are not getting along or on one of their many many break-ups. During these times "he" will never fail to A) get me to talk to "him" again B)get me to be friends with "him" again C)profess his love/like (depending on how long they've been apart for eg 1 day...1 week? Yeah, it never lasts long...) for me and how he wants to be with me.
And even though this is a pattern that hasn't stopped in oh...about 3 1/2 years, I never stop falling for the ruse (excepting the undying love bit). And that just makes me disappointed in myself! How could I, the person who has willingly and voluntarily cut people out of her life permanently so many times not do it to this person? (Quick segway, but not really because these are examples: Two "best friends" in junior high said "I don't like you anymore" so I stopped talking to them the next day and forever since. A "best friend", who I became friends with because of those two other girls, was the first and only person to know that I liked a boy-best-friend for the past year. She moves away. She didn't know him. They meet, because I introduce them so she can finally know who I'm talking about all the time...and begin dating a month later, after she claims "she didn't know I liked him at all" ---anyway....back to the topic at fingers) Because. I'm best friends with "his" sister. Ugh. How my life attracts drama like moths to a flickering light bulb on my porch.
I just wish that I could one day have friends (more than the one...and that one...the sister of the douchebag? even her...after 3 1/2 years, I'm on the outs with...but this is the only other time I've actually felt hurt about losing a friend) that are genuinely loyal, and care about me. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps...maybe I'm just being kooky....but a girl can dream, right?
Oh. Whatevs, I dont need your permission! I will dream anyway...bitches.
No. Kidding. I didn't mean that. <3
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Unnatural Selection
Went to see Muse on Monday :) FINALLY
I wasn't expecting ALL that much...I do like them a lot, but it wasn't love.
It was THE BEST show I have ever been to, yes, that's right...including OK Go/Snow Patrol!
They had this amazing light show...and I'm not going to spoil it for anyone, but I will say that Yes, it is the best live show in the world!
In other news...I've just been heartbroken...or is it that I am heartbroken? Either way...I am single. I am hurt...but "relationships are like a broken glass...sometimes it's better to walk away that to hurt yourself trying to piece it back together..."
Update: As we speak I just got a phone call to further stress that people aren't always what they seem, no matter how long you've known them. They can change like the weather and it's ridiculous to let yourself trust someone so much.
Moral of today's lesson? Music is and always be my life. Concerts make up for heartache; music makes up for...everything.
I wasn't expecting ALL that much...I do like them a lot, but it wasn't love.
It was THE BEST show I have ever been to, yes, that's right...including OK Go/Snow Patrol!
They had this amazing light show...and I'm not going to spoil it for anyone, but I will say that Yes, it is the best live show in the world!
In other news...I've just been heartbroken...or is it that I am heartbroken? Either way...I am single. I am hurt...but "relationships are like a broken glass...sometimes it's better to walk away that to hurt yourself trying to piece it back together..."
Update: As we speak I just got a phone call to further stress that people aren't always what they seem, no matter how long you've known them. They can change like the weather and it's ridiculous to let yourself trust someone so much.
Moral of today's lesson? Music is and always be my life. Concerts make up for heartache; music makes up for...everything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
