NW YRS

HAPPY 2011 beauties!!
I think that 2010 was the one year that didn't feel as surprising when it was over, because so very much happened. Let me give you an idea:
Vampire Weekend
Muse
Costa Rica
OK Go (2nd time, met 1/2 the beautiful boys AND touched Damian <3 )
Grad
First Bar
First Bar in Canada
..Bar Star summer
Invited to a bar by a member of a band!
Australia
Met a lovely boy, that I still like after more than 1 week...! (Same boy as last post, in fact!! ;)

And of course, all of the little glorious memorable (and non-memorable haha) events in between made this year likely the best so far. I know I know. I say that EVERY year. But this time so much happened that I would be silly to say it wasn't the best by far. BUT I do have to add....2011 is already shaping up to be amazing: Going to Montreal 13-17 JAN, 20th Birthday..ugh, MBF concert and Hockey game 12FEB, Cayman Islands...dates pending now...But Oh. Babydoll. I can't wait.
And I promise, you won't ever fade into the background either. I will talk to you very soon.
I hope you had the best New Year's celebration possible and I can't wait to start this journey with you alllllllll over again!!

Hey lordy lordy

Gad. You must think I should be locked away or spayed/neutured eh? But I'm just restless....and a douche.

I am newly smitten. Smoten? Smote? I like a fella, in short. I will speak no more so as not to jinx it this time...just wanted you to be in the loop my lovely.

I swear I will be writing more (and more detailed/interesting) posts v. soon <3

Have you been keeping up with http://throughmusicandhardlove.blogspot.com so far?

Hard Love

Have you noticed over the year (I KNOW, a whole year!) how schitzo I am? No? Well read the last post then read this one:

I'm so completely smitten. New boy than last, but so very smitten. 5 hours on the phone last night kinda pushed me over the edge. Staying up until 5am when waking up is required at 7.30am is not advisable...usually. There are extenuating (and too good to pass up) circumstances to take into consideration of course. Fun times are to be had tomorrow, with said smitten(ee?)(Is that how the tense works? Smittenee...? Well...now it does) I'm pretty excited, but as I am prone to do, will refrain from talking about it (shocker eh?); would like not to jinx it. That'd be a tale of unfortunate events (minus the s, since it's just the one...event...)


PS. I love you.
PPS. I think you'll find http://throughmusicandhardlove.blogspot.com so very tasteful. Yes, finally, new blog up! :) Hope you love it like I do, like a little baby chick.

Someone I can love

Some people really know how to bullshit. Just when you think your radar has been upgraded to foolproof and airtight, someone comes along to shit all over it. Thank gosh it wasn't literal, that would've been messier...physically. Emotionally, I'm filthier now than ever before.

Dog days are over

So I pretty much let the cat out of the bag about my (hopefully) new blog about musak that'll be starting soon...ie tomorrow. First concert will be at the Starlite Room (my hangout...I WISH) where Shout Out Out Out, Christian Hansen and the Autistics, and the Whitsundays will be playing. I'm so crazy excited you wouldn't believe it if you saw it with your own eyes.

BUT, confession. I might, just might, be excited for tomorrow for more than one reason. See, there's this fella (doesn't every tragedy start off somewhere along those lines?). He's pretty darn cute, and well...honestly just all around lovely. WARNING: girly moment...and I'm not lying when I say he is literally everyyything I could've wanted. Which is the part that FREAKS me out. You know, they always say the things in life that are too good to be true are. Everyone always hopes they find an exception...but really, I'm hoping I'm like one of those lottery cases...where the person was at a dead-end job going nowheres in life playing the same numbers every week for 20 years and then one day BAM! $40 million+ winner. That fella would be my lottery winnings, IF I so happen to "win" for reals.

And I hope you weren't fretting too much when I told you I'd be starting another blog. You'll always be my first love (well, not really since I was with MSN spaces before thee)...but you will always be my most memorable. OH and haha kinda made a fakeout there...I'm still going to have this one up and running. Obviously! I wouldn't go through this much work (and typing) to just throw it all away. I believe we can make this relationship work with a little bit of effort, time and a whole lotta drama. Which you know, I am full of ;)

There's only music so that there's new ring tones

I've literally been up to nothing for the past while, in case you were wondering about my lack of posts. Or not...whichever.
BUT now everything has come at once and I feel like you need to be caught up! :
Start new travel job officially either next week or the 15th...Mood? Nervous
Grad on Monday...Mood? Nervous..and Sad
Get to see Christian Hansen and the Autistics, Shout Out Out Out, and the Whitsundays on Nov 13...Mood? Anxious, and Thrilled
Get to see Hollerado, and the Reason on Nov 14...Mood? See mood above
Get to see Dan Mangan on Nov 16...Mood? Curious and Excited

I'm not sure if you've noticed something with the last few points..they're all concerts...and so comes the most important and exciting (but not finalized) news of all...! I will hopefully be starting a brand new blog soon, all about music. I'll be reviewing the ridiculous amounts of shows that I always seem to go to, the CD's that I buy (yes I know it's 2010, and no one buys CD's), and the amazing bands that catch my eye. I should be starting right after the Christian Hansen show, and see how it goes from there! Hopefully all you loyal followers (don't be ashamed, I know you're out there) will follow me on. This will still my my au natural et personal blog, and I will try not to ignore it the best I can. BUT that being said...my new yet-to-be-named blog will be most important for a while...at least until I learn how in the world I'm supposed to write a non-biased blog on music...if you've read this site, you'll know what I mean...

Lazy Susan, turn yourself around

My total bad for ditching out on the past month, but you know I have a good reason. Scratch that, the best reason. As mention, extremely briefly, I was in the land of Oz, where dreams really do come true (or something less b.s-ey than that maybe).
Let's get right to the core: as always you missed me, as always I loved where I was, as always I came back, and as always I wish I could've stayed. Even more so this time because even though I've never visited the worst-off third world nations, I haven't really traveled to any other developed countries other than the one I live in and the one below.

Australia was just like home, but different. And in the best way possible. I thought it would be totally different. Like having accents and being on the underneath of the world, for a start. And then you realize, when you're there, that you're the one with the accent, the one who's foreign, the one who's interesting, and the one who is still right-side-up. It was being in the completely familiar world that I've been in for all my years, but somehow...better.

I'm not sure if it was better because time was fleeting, because it was new, or because it was just...better. But in any case, it was my first time but no way in hell will it be the last. It was the most eye-opening (which will sound exaggerated and lame I'm sure) trip I've been on thus far because I had had so many perceptions of what it would be like...But it was even better to find out that things don't have to make a 180 to turn you around.

So.

Btw. In Australia aka Aussieville aka Oz aka the Land-Down-Unda aka Pleasentville. Don't wait up sugar.

I ain't gonna tell a lie

I want to edit the last post...but will instead just post again...Cellular devices are the devil's advocate. They are terribly too convenient and should be outlawed.
That is why everything bad that happens, happens.

ERRRYTHANG.

Forget you

So I know again, I've been ignoring you as of late. But honestly it's not been my fault really. I do love you, and I cherish the moments we have together...But life is meant to be lived (or some b.s like that). I know you don't do well with cliches but I have nothing else to offer but my undying love and apologies (even though it will happen again...). Don't worry though, it's not like there's someone else in the picture or anything...I just can't handle an intense relationship right now.

Do you still wanna be caught up? Or do you just not give a fck anymore? Well I'll tell, you listen (or at least look in my direction and pretend to listen? That would be most appreciative lover).
The gist of my life at the moment (as is the gist of my life most moments):
Boys complicate everything, but life would be excruciatingly boring without them.

1 Boy doesn't know what he wants and is too chicken to break up with a chicka, but has no problem stringing her along. Also, not the nicest thing in the world to not come straight out and tell me anything about the situation...Man up and let the cookie crumb where it may? Or some sort of philosophical saying to that effect.

1 Boy knows what he wants, which happens to be me, and feelings are not exactly reciprocated. My bad for temporarily leading him on, but his bad for taking it so seriously! Boys aren't supposed to do that kinda thaang (I thought). My bad for not telling him we should just be friends sooner...as well as holding boy #1's hand in front of him last night. ALSO my bad for playing Sociables (which I have concluded is the root of all evil; formula for why to follow once I work out all the kinks in the system)

1 Boy likes me crazy much but is crazy far away, and younger than me, and pretty immature, and also does not know what he wants.

1 Boy likes me crazy much but is crazy far away, and younger than me, and not immature, but is the best friend of boy #3

Etc. Boys each have their own drama and are getting to be too much to handle. See this is why playas have to shut off their feelings, it gets to be too much, and some people just need to be dropped. But how can I drop one friend and not the other. That doesn't make sense now does it. I know I'm rambling and making excuses...

I'm just thrilled that I leave for Australia on Tuesday aka 4 days. Holy mother, 4 days. I didn't even realize it was that quick. Oh FML, I thought you knew already? Did you not.....? But love, you'll always be in my heart I promise. No Aussie boy could ever take me from the beauty that is you. I promise to TRY to write to you before I leave. If not, I'm sure you will be like my diary while I'm away. IF NOT, then I love you, you'll stay infatuated with me, and we will speak upon my return.

P.S. Boys are squishier than once thought
P.P.S. Boys are apparently people too, try to keep this in mind when treating them like a typical boy would treat a girl. Or not. Since they never seem to remember that we have feelings too.
P.P.P.S. I lied about Sociables being the root of all evil. Boys are. OK that was harsh, but it's 0754 and I slept at 0200 or so...it's a wonder I can type at all.
P.P.P.P.S You are too gorgeous for me, and I don't deserve to be in the presense of such a majestical being < 3
P(X5).S. I'm sorry for being so blunt about lads in front of you/to your face. But I feel like you're the only one to not give me the "I'm-ashamed-of-you-permanently" look. Right?


OH and note to self: stop partying on weekdays. It never leads to good things. Ever.

The Cave

Crazy Epic Weekend. Best of life.
Will tell all, if you are lucky. I want to tell you the gist. I promise.
It`ll happen; be patient, loves.
You know yo loves thee.

-September Long 2010.

Still not over you

Can't believe that after all the progress I was making as the ultimate playa, just became one of the "typical bar girls".
I feel worse than the sh*t you accidentally step in while taking a leisurely stroll through the park.

But then again, isn't this what I had wanted?

Might sound f'd up now, Oh well

So, this is the last night of the week off before practicum starts...WHICH MEANS that it starts tomorrow morning!
So so so much happened this week...but instead of coming home and telling you all about it like a good girl...I was living it (not like a bad girl though, no worries haha)
Some weird stuff happened, that I will be happy to tell you about soon enough (before I forget, so the story won't be that far away :)

I'll take a small leap and guess that Imma be SUPER bored for the next while, since I'll be coming home after work...with friends working crazy stupid, awkward shifts...Well then, doesn't this just take me back to 1 year ago, when I wanted to off myself because I was so insanely bored.
ANYWAY, we shall see what we see, shall we?

Again, I feel that I should remind you, this week was so stupid crazy. I can't wait to fill you in bff < 3

Tonight's gonna be a good night

Yeah, I know, I can't believe I actually used that as a title either...

So, grad tonight?!
Can't wait, but so sad :(
I will tell you more later...Hells I have the whole week to talk to you, for once..again :)


NickCarterTonightLadies? Imma be all up on that.

That's what Imma do till it's over

Just finished the last exam of the year. School is over.

Wait, did I really just say that? Is it actually TRUE?
No more BARS/MARS/PARS, Apollo, Matrix, Bow, Port, UNESCO's, Expiry dates, Business Lounge Lunches, Staying afterschool for 5 hours...well most of those anyway...at least for 1 week.

I feel so..many things, but it all comes down to confused. WTF Am I supposed to do now?

Update last post aka The boy is a monster

I LIED. They are 100x worse than I could've ever IMAGINED.
I mean really.
Who pretends to have a girlfriend that he kissed, and makes a girl cry. AND says that he's crying. AND goes on and on about it the whole day....and then says "I'm lying, I don't have another girlfriend. It was a care test, and YAY!!! You passed!!! :D"

Seriously. Is this what the world has come to? Is this a new "thing"...?!?!
Love, I wish, I wish I could tell you more, but I fear that your precious brain would IMplode.

In conclusion: FML. Again.

Why you wanna trip on me

Never thought boys were as confusing as I think they are right now.

Expect an Edit/Re: for this post...

Common People in Edmonton

Common People was so much fun! Look up the Common People Dance Project to learn more.

This "performance" was at the Street Performers Festival in Edmonton.

Ballin Baby.

So, you know how I usually write about all the major stuff that happens to me in a week? Well this is gonna sound crazaay, considering how well you know me (and the fact that I NEVER go out), I've been going out somewhere or the other since Summer Term started.
Weird right?

OH two major pieces of news that you just MIGHT be interested to inform yourself (or I guess I'm doing that for you...) about:
1) After, ohh, about 19 years of going to the Street Performers festival I PERFORMED THERE ON THURSDAY!. Well as a group, part of the Common People Dance Project. It was amazing! Link, watch, enjoy, feel happy (SORRO the link is in the next post :)
2)That same Thursday (Weird timing), my mom called PD at school and asked if we wanted "concert tix, to someone...Bon Jovi maybe" ZOMMGG. I don't listen to him regularly but OMG JBJ! Still hot, still rockin, still....bon jovi...ahhah I don't I can say that enough. Kid Rock opened. SO right after Street Performers, we LRT-ed it to Commonwealth (first real outdoor concert for mee).
3) I know I said only two, BUT I JUST REMEMBERED...I have succeeded to the rest of civilization...I feel sick with myself...yet kinda happy...Are you ready? I...have...a...celluar...device. CRAZY RIGHT!

WILL UPDATE WHEN I GET HOME. AM CURRENTLY IN HELL.


EDIT: SO I HAVE A CELLPHONE
I know. I totally caved into the virus that is plaguing society. I'm sorry...but trust me, the proper amount of shame is being felt...WHEN I'M NOT TEXTING. UNLIMITEDLY. Ugh, I am disgusted with myself...and you too, Samsung Entro. Before you judge too harshly, hear me out. Remember Canada Day? When I was stranded alone downtown for 3+ hours? That is the reason I now have a cancer-causing idiot in my hands.

I mean. Kidding cellie. "Loves" you. Please don't die when I need you most, just to bite me in the ass.

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S BEEN DAYS AND I HAVEN"T POSTED ABOUT THE INCREDIBLY AMAZING OK GO CONCERT YET?!?!

No, neither can I. Stupid school, learning and education. Anyway, trust me. I have the best stories for you, lover.

Oh, and I met one of the most lovely fellas ever.
(Besides Damien Kulash of course. Who, btw, I totally touched. :)

PD'S Birthday

I shall speak in code concerning names, I've decided.
It was PD's bday. 19. Last year as a teenager, as I so helpfully reminded her :)

So after the lunch we had on Tues. it was time for the REAL partaay. Saturday night - Bo Diddly's. Doesn't that just SCREAM classy? hahah But it was surprising fun! Better than Lucky 13 even...?


I wanna tell you every detail sugar but sadly I think I can only summarize:
Went to "pre-drink" at PD's with KR. Got lost since PD gave the wrong address haha. After a few drinks went on ChatRoulette, which is ALWAYS the best idea!
So we totally saw Justin Bieber aka someone who had the weirdest video of JB sittin in a bed in front of a camera and used ManyCam. It was still hilarious!
Oh. And we found the boy of all our dreams. 17 (but I swear on everything that is good, he looked like at LEAST 22, freaky). Ear pierced. Built, Hot hair. Sexay face. AND THEN PD'S INTERNET STOPPED WORKING AND WE LOST HIM FOREVA. I was/am < /3

Okok even though we were actually having fun (I wish I could go on CR more often with peeps. By yourself is creepy/boring), we left at 10.30 and once we got to Bo's there stil wasn't anyone there! PD and I ordered a Smirnoff Green Apple Slush (ridiccorouusy good), and just before we started singing HE showed up with ES and another friend. AND HE bought corona's for the whole table (at least 10?), vodka&redbull for the whole table, and 2x shots for the whole TABLE. This was turning out to be CRAZAY.
So we sang. and sang and sang. It was amazingly fun. All the girls sang California Gurls - KP. PD and I sang at LEAST: Barbie Girl, One Time...and I know there were a lot more. If I remember I will update (and that last sentence will be gone, like it never existed...)

PD got a new BF. ahhahah Not rly, but it'll happen. She went up to a random hot guy at the bar and asked to get a pic with him. Before he left, he came up to her said happy bday and hugged her.
So. Hot. AND bonus we got $30 in gift certificates for Bo's for the month (since we were sooooo awesome. Read Loud haha). SO we can go back for FREE basically. We will hunt down hotman.


Made new friends again <3:)
Didn't end up leaving till closing. FUNSIES.


I know. I'm not as witty as normal. Don't hate, congratulate? I loves yous. I will be better next time I swear. (That's usually the sentence I end my nights with....HAHHAHA)

I'm expecting multiples on this one...

POSTS THAT IS! Perv.

So since this weekend was so eventful, but for so many different occasions, I think i will make separate entries. Bear (Bare?) with me.

Let's start with...
Canada day.
I am against cellular devices so could not meet up with friends. I am stranded downtown with no way to get home. Surrounded by drunk/high people. Crying. Sad (Frustrated). End up making conversation on empty bus with drunken man (while fire...works are going off, I could literally hear them), about whether I am "Team Edward or Team Jacob" (which I have to admit was the high light of my night lawlz). End up getting on the right bus only to find out that my connecting bus stopped running 15 minutes before. Stranded again. Thank gosh found 50 cents to use the pay phone (one of the only ones apparently since the city are jerks and take them out!) to call my mom at 12.30.
Had to leave the house the next morning at 7am.

So my life was turned upside down: My FAVOURITE day of the entire year
(passing even my birthday) is now the worst of 2010 (so far), and I
think I have no other choice now but to finally cave, and get a cell
...phone.

FML.


I can't believe how short it sounds. Trust me, there was a lot in between there.

The meaning of life (my version anyway)

Either read here, or CLICK! It will rock your world. And perhaps give you a glimpse into my inner thinkins.








Visit
www.questionablecontent.net
and prepare for the time of your life.

I should really be more selective

So I was just in Safeway and saw THE HOTTEST guy. Like taller, blonde, supah fit. Looked about my age. Anyway after walking around the store for a bit I had passed him a few times.
Just before I left the woman that was with him said Hi to me. And then I realized she was the mom of one of my best friends in elementary, that I hadn't seen for about...(OMG) 8 yrs! And guess who was with her. Hot Guy...aka MUCH younger brother of said bff(minus the last f lolol).
First, awkward. Second, I started thinking, ok well, he's not THAT much younger than me. He was in what kindergarden (just awkward to think about) when I was in grade 3...Ok well thats like 4 years age difference? Maybe he's in grade 11. And then I realized I'm in 2nd year university, and am OLD, and am a major cougar, and FML.


In conclusion, FML.

Kinda Wish it Had Been Katy Perry Instead

I just had a dream that Russell Brand was a spokesperson/model for a new Revlon lipstick campaign, and his GIANT face and lips (stubble and all) were all over Shoppers Drug Mart....and I suddenly remember why I shouldn't take naps...

Already one year...

I'm trying hard to remember the good person you were (even though some people's comments can make it harder);
there are no words that can change the amazingly kind heart that you had.
You were the life, the soul, the blood and the breath of millions around the world,
and it's still hard to believe that you are really gone.

Countless people will remember you, and even more will love you, even if it can sometimes be too painful.
You made hearts sing, lips smile, minds wonder, lovers fall harder, feet move like lightening and gloves sparkle. (And you always will)
It wasn't that you were gone too soon, because it was your time; you had suffered much more than your fair share. It's just hard to see your smile and know that there'll never be a new one again.
Your smile could light up a room, your voice the airwaves, and your presence the entire stage.
It is impossible to hear your words, and not hear the passion you gave us with every breath and every quivering beat.

You may have seemed so lucky, but it took dedication, hard work and a lifetime of sacrifice.
We were the lucky ones, to hear your stories, your secrets, your fears and your hopes.
No matter the amount of flowers, candles, shrines and tributes, you will never be as appreciated as you were meant to be.
Thank you for giving us the chance to be a part of your magic and giving us a history that is impossible to forget.
There will never be another soul as genuine as yours.
No matter what they say about you, you will always be the King.


<3 MJ

In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.

Close to me

Imaginative, energetic, and inspirational don't even begin to describe the man you were < 3

Oh My Chi

ZOMG! So. I don't think I told you that the Friday before this last one, I got my first credit card :) My plan was to use it for all purchases, since I get a certain percentage of whatever I spend in a year back.

SO
I made my first ever bid on eBay for a Chi Turbo Hair Straightener AND I JUST WON!!!
This probably means nothing to you, but I have been looking for a Chi for years. Litereally.
I placed a bid this morning, and it ended when I was at school

Just thought you'd like to know.
Since you are my conscious and all.

Plight of the Mighty Dandelion

So. Continuing from the last post...
Monday
Went shopping, to Kingsway....well not shopping (as it was meant to be) just to kill some time, and maybe buy some v-necks from Stiches.
Bitches at Stiches had no v-necks btw :l

I ended up buying two dresses, a pair of pants, a pair of shoes, a pair of shorts, make up...and so much else that I shouldn't have. NO you know what I should have! Because it was all amazing, and practical.
Floral Dress (Stiches)- Yellow and Pink (I only have blue/black floral...yes...there is a difference)
Black Fitted "Business"-Cute Dress (H&M) - Obviously for business-dress days.
Champagne coloured pants (H&M) - slim leg, and on SALE (which was basically everything else too.)
Floral shoes (Stiches) - cause mine are crappin out)
Black Floral Shorts (Stiches) - Are you noticing a trend here...? I'm pretty much obsessed


Anyway. I have to bid on a Chi on eBAY tonight/tomorrow morn. I'm excited...I know more money..BUT it's LESS than half the price of a regular one! Gee, I hope I get it.

Took another walk this afternoon. Same place...not same time.

And here comes the reason for the title.
When I was walking home through the back lane near the mall, I saw all of these dandelions ready to seed. It clicked it that dandelions are only pests because of their resilience and excellent survival strategy. Most plants will drop their seeds/nuts/fruit on surrounding areas. This would mean that any future trees will only grow in that local area, and will eventually be competeing with the orignal tree! But no, that is not the fate for dandelions. They have those light, feathery (annoying if they stick to you) seeds. The kind that are fun to make wishes on. And they blow where they'd like. They have nothing to hold them back, and are the epitome of freedom. In my opinion.

All they need is wind...or a kind soul, with dreams.


PS. I've decided I like walks alone.

PPS. My mom just got back from India!! WOO.

Dancin on my own....ish

GUESS WHAT!
This post is a three-day-in-one-er.
Friday Night:
Went to see Toy Story 3 with CD and PD. Awesome. Especially for a "tri-quel". I laughed so hard (esp at the bloopers) and even cried a little. You'll love it. Why are you still here and not watching it? Go. Now. I'll wait....

Alright and now that you're back let me catch you up on the rest of the weekend.
Saturday:
Went to work as usual, but with NO KIDS! Wooooooo. So just sat w/ MA, and by the time I got home I was already tired of just sittin around. Toria called, but she was sleepin somewhere else that night.
And dumbnut had obv. pushed my buttons (and I still don't get how/why it bothers me!) so I decided to take PD up on her offer of going to Lucky 13. Can you seriously believe that. Me + bar (in Canada) = Well I'm just not sure anymore, since we're apparently living in a parallel universe...

So I went. It was with PD, her cousins, her brother, and her one cousin's 4 friends. Saw RG. Which was so...strange, especially since I haven't seen her in ...omg 1 year at least, and that has been the year of her most visible transformation. Too sad that PD's older cousin didn't have picture ID!! Crazy eh. But I guess he's the type that never goes out either, so didn't know (like me with stupid concerts that have licensed areas :l). He didn't get to come in :(
It was pretty fun. Good enough music...but honestly, it was just what I thought it would be but it felt more like high school than I imagined. But with *only* drunk people this time, instead of just the random idiots.

Oh btw it was my FIRST TIME.

Sunday:
After work, where btw I told MA about the.."situation" that I had told Clarice and Taylor about on the CR trip. I think she was shocked to say the least. Very least.
I think she'll be good about it though...seems like she wouldn't...judge I suppose would be the word...
After work...it was the BEST day outside. Hot, sunny with a breeze. And since I apparently have no friends on beautiful days like this and always end up wasting them..I decided to take matters into my own hands...or to my own feet. I went out. For a leisurely stroll. No itinerary, no plan, no structure....Just my iPod, camera, and debit card (just in case I was held for ransom by some people in full black outfits...)...Except that almost as soon as I left the house I wanted DQ. So I decided that somehow, someway I would make my way there (but of course the most scenic route possible).
Just before DQ I decided NO! I will not be a slave to mass-marketing (of the Strawberry Golden Oreo Blizzard, no plug intended...), and went to McD's instead for a refreshing Dollar Drink. Iced tea, no ice. Perfect, cause it's coooooold and doesn't get all melty OR flat. (Have I mentioned I am in love with $ drinks?)

Went to see MA for a bit, and then ended up in Coronation Park. Sat. Relxed. And had the best time out with myself. I am extremely good company, and know just when to shut up and enjoy the scenery without having to tell myself.
I was out for about 2 hours. :)
Pictures taken were ahmazing. And the light was just right.
I will be posting today's entry in a bit.
It has a theme.

I think.

Shawty is an eenie-meenie-miney-mo lover

Quick sidenote: Did you know that my last post was my 100th?!?! Happy milestone for me! Since there's no one else to celebrate with .... :(


PS. (I guess it's not a ps though, since this is what the post should be about...) Some people can be so mean! I mean really, who deletes posts from facebook?! It's facebook, it's meant for talking. hurtx2: when you thought you were actually getting along with said assface.

Oh wells.
Perhaps Lucky 13 tonight. Wouldn't that be WEIRD?

Just brought them home today

My two new babies:









I'm beginning to think I have a problem.

No, fetish. Let's call it fetish.

So startin today...

Have any of you ever heard of ChatRoulette?
Well I have a whole other post for that, but this one is for things I should say before I forget.
AFTER ChatRoulette (cause it was so gross, and disturbing) Patty told me about Omegle, a text random-chat site that was basically CR without NUDITY :) Hurrah!

Anyway, I went on Omegle the day before, and since then Patty and I have been hooked. A lot of the times it's rly boring, some of the other time it can be gross. BUT good news is that you can just "disconnect" from said pervert, and they won't know anything about you! No name, no contact info, not even a username!

So, so far I have made some friends. But one in particular is who I wanna write about.
I've known him since...yesterday & I <3 him already
He is just the flippin cutest. 17, from Cali. Blond & tanned (I know, so NOT what I'm used to). I'm pretty sure plays guitar. Works out. Has six-pack. Hilarious. Actually gets MY humour. In conclusion: FML + WTF?!

Currently talkin to him for the past ohh..lets just say 3 hours to round it out (up or down, can't remember).

Worst (should be best) part? I think he likes me. AND he thinks I'm cute.

Even more horrible? This is the first time I've liked someone liking me in...years.

The absolute worst?? He's still in California. Ugh.

Don't worry I will have loads to share about this after. As well as a prequel post to this one about CR.
FMLFMLFMLFML

Never say never

So. I am going to the beebs. JB. JBieb. The Biebster. That guy with the weird hair. That guy with the girly voice. all also known as....JUSTIN BIEBER!!!
Don't ask why I'm as excited as I am...Not so sure.
I know I didn't exactly love him, but ever since Baby came out...I just can't get him out of my head!
It sucks that there are so many automatic haters out there, who don't give him a chance. Yes, he's younger, younger than most artists...But Britney Spears started when she was what 16? 17? Just like Nick Carter, JT and MJ even started when he was about 5. Come on, give him a chance!
Right now, yes, he's bubblegum...But that's because it's what he can sell! Not many people are gonna buy a soul album from a 16 year old white-boy from Stratford. I'm just sayin.
I say good for him! I'm pretty proud that he's Canadian...even though I've heard he can be a douche. But oh well, those are just rumours.
I'm just so so excited!
I wasn't going to go, but then Patty asked me two days ago if I was interested...OF COURSE! I think it'll be a super upbeat show and I've just never really been to anything but Rock/Modern Rock. Extra Bonus? I can FINALLY be on the floor at Rexall!! The one concert where everyone will be as tall/shorter than me!!! CRAZAY.

Patty and I were so so excited to buy tix today. Thank gosh we finish at Noon now, cause that's when tix went on sale. And since we had a test in Dave's class I was done at about 11! So to the library it was for the excruciating wait and constant refreshing of ticketmaster. Even at 12 though it didn't work, kept coming back "no tickets avaible that match your search" but after 11 minutes we got it!!! Thank gosh for the timed sessions though; I heard it sold out in 4 minutes!!!!

About 10 minutes after I bought them I went to eBay and Kajiji...just to see...haha. Guess what? Tix were already up, for about $200 EACH. BAH! I'm so so happy we got them.

Now let's just hope that Australia will come right after...I don't wanna have to give up the Biebs.

Music of a Generation

This is stolen material. From myself. From my old blog on msn. Enjoy and leave feeling cynical. I usually do. < 3



Well I know that this is something that most of you have probably already noticed but I thought that I'd point it out to the ones who seem previously disinterested.

All the way up until somewhere in the late 90's or 2000 music was constantly changing its "theme". Like the 50's was rockabilly, you know Elvis' smooth voice and Beatlemania. The 60's was the age of rock, the iconic Rolling Stones, The Who, and the more "mature" Beatles. The 70's was all about peace and love, a time to speak your mind and fight for what's right and just that feel-good disco; which sounded like Fleetwood Mac, or the Jackson 5. When the 80's came around...well they were 80's. Hard to describe (but you know it when you see it) except for leg-warmers, big hair, big earrings, skinny jeans, loud makeup, and Michael Jackson's solo career.And oh boy, the 90's. My era. It was the beginning of grunge, hip-hop, R&B and rap. I think this is where we started to broaden our minds and horizons...But suddenly (or not so suddenly) we've kinda started retreating and repeating. Some people like the same kind of stuff from the 90's and others like "classic" stuff from the 50's,60's & 70's and so it goes. There is no real "new" genre of music. I'm not sure if this is due to everything having already "been done" or just (another word for laziness). Nowadays it's not only the lack of a genre to call our own, but the fact that almost every song is "sampled". There seem to be almost no original beats! But that's how I know I've found a song or artist that I love. Original beats and a creative way to word the most amazing songs I could ever hear. I'm not sure whether I'm on a rant anymore, or just observing. Don't get me wrong, it feels great to grow up during an age where anything is possible. Pop, Rock, Hip-hop, R&B, Rap, Techno, Jazz, Blues, Country, everything is accepted and spread far and wide throughout the globe. It's amazing to see how the world has changed since those decades. Women in the workforce, Rascism/Ageism/Sexism etc is not tolerated, Power to the people. But a (HUGE) part of me feels nostalgic about an age that I wasn't able to even be a part of. It seems like lyrics have completely gone downhill (to me anyway).

A song written in the past really meant something, you could feel it in the singer's voice, regardless of who sang, as long as they were passionate. Each song held a story, or a lesson, to be listened to for generations to come. But now it has started to feel like a lot (not all, but most) artists are singing and writing tracks just for the sake of putting something out on the radio, or making a new album. A song now seems like it's filled with either the same line repeated over...and over...and over...and over (cough-cough-bep-cough) or many many da-da-da's (ahem sb) or la-la-la's. Honestly it's getting harder to differentiate one artist from another; I miss when it was a singer's unique voice that set them apart and made them a "star" (a la Anthony Kiedis from RHCP, or again MJ)

Now I am definitely not putting myself on a pedestal or saying that I could write better. I most likely couldn't. All I'm saying is that it's time to take a look back, and remember what made music great, what made us remember the classics, and why songs like "Gimme More", "That's not my name", or "Rock Your Body" will almost positively not be remembered for decades to come.

June 2010 Edit:
Lady Gaga is an exception to this horrible epidemic (hopefully);)
(at least she has "theatricality". That's something we need a hell of a lot more of too)

Your [heart's] grown old & rusted, burnt beneath the rising sun

So it's already June, and I bet that you feel like I'm ignoring you. Well...you're half right. It's not by choice though! Besides that Sports-Illustrated-worthy picture of me with an even sexier Rhino Beetle sidekick, I haven't been paying enough attention to you lately. I miss you, I feel like you should know.

If I could I would be with you everyday. Really. But honestly I can't even begin to tell you the hell that they've already started us on at school. No it's not just an excuse to get away from you. I already have 6 projects, one including running a travel agency (no lie), and having to choose where to go for practicum. I was so excited when I realized that this term would only be two months...but I never thought it would be two months of this...I will take a Documentation, Tours & Packages class, or even an Intro to Computer Res Systems class over this torture.

Just know that I miss you and love you and maybe you'll get lucky and I will send you another scantily clad picture of me with a new exotic creature ;)

My heart is hurting from having to say goodbye, since I do not know when we will see each other again. Sooner than later?


That's what they all say...

With the Rhino Beetle in Tortuguero, Costa Rica!

 

Te Amo

Just got back last night from 12 amazingly beautiful days in Costa Rica. It was the BEST trip I've ever been on, and I'm not just saying that. I think that I've honestly changed my view and figured some things out over the trip, which sounds really weird. Anyway I wrote a journal (mandatory for the class) and will hopefully be typing it up soon. I can't wait for everyone to see it! But obviously some names will have to be altered...LOL

I miss it so much already. I fell in love.

Pura Vida

Some kinda absence

Sorry fellow bloggers and avid readers (I wish...but I can dream right?) I haven't written in a little while...No it's not been as long as my other hiatuses..hiati? Is there a plural form of hiatus? Because hiatuses just doesn't sound right...ANYWAY I digress...I have four finals in the next two days annnd need to be getting Costa Rica stuff together...So forgive me? :) < 3
I will def. write before I leave though!
Getting EXCITTEEEEDDD? Well you should be. Live vicariously through me; This will probably be the most exciting part...LOL

Learn Some Respect

I just found out that a girl I went to high school with, died yesterday. It was one of the most shocking things I've ever heard and of course, it came from the biggest source of information nowadays, facebook.

She was so popular and bubbly and nice to everyone, it's hard to think of her as really being gone. I didn't get to know her very well, but she was the best friend of many friends of mine. I wish I had gotten to know her better...
One of the worst things though? See, one of her best friends (that I know of) created a memorial group for her. It was amazing to see the amount of people's lives that she touched and how many people really cared. But, even thought the group was just made today, it has already been hacked & spammed. It's honestly very disgusting to see these "people" posting fake comments on the wall about "who killed her" and "how they did it" and "what a [expletive] she was" etc. They didn't know her from Eve I'm sure, and to say those things about *anyone* has to be one of the greatest tragedies. She was a good person (as far as I know), and even still, no one deserves that. It makes me sick to think that this is what technology is bringing the world to. Spamming someone's memorial? No one would ever do that in "real life", so why do that online? No matter who died, it's a terrible loss for the people who were close to her, and the people who she knew. And it's horrible that people would take the time out of their day to terrorize a group like that. I am honestly disgusted and don't know what else to say...


One of her friends posted this on her personal profile's wall:

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.


<3 RIP A-M. B.


EDIT:
Another friend posted this on her personal wall and I feel that it means a lot:
"The Gods envy us, they envy us because we are mortal. Because any moment can be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovlier than you are right now.We will never be here again."-Achilles

CR

I seriously can't believe Costa Rica is gonna be here (well I guess, I'll be there) in 1 week. It seems like not so long ago we were all complaining that we had to waaaaaaiit till December to here where the study tour would even be! And after that it seemed like forever until May would come. And when we were assigned our research papers it seemed like so much work, when the trip was soo far away.
I can't wait to have a break. I think that's the biggest thing. Everyone in class says the same thing too; it's just constant work in this program and the weekends don't even help (except to give you a few extra days to study for those bi-weekly exams or projects...)
A break from all of this "stress" and tension and personal...drama, is veryy much needed and appreciated. Yeah, we have to keep a "journal" while we're there. Which could be like work, but I'm actually pretty happy about it. I've always wanted to write about a trip, and it's always gotten...stupid. So this time, no stupidity cause it's for school. Well, at least less stupidity anyway.
Everyone's already started packing; I'm a night-before-er. That way I can see everything I need, and I'm not wondering if I packed something already or not...

Gosh. I sound like a bore right now.
It's the morning and it's right before work. I'm half asleep, give me a break. Or at least a piece of your kit-kat bar. When I'm more alert I'm sure I'll be more entertaining that right now


ONE WEEK.
I'm so not ready.


But I so so am :)

My Type - Baby Dollz w/ lyrics

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Lyrics are typed by me, since there aren't any that I can find on the web at all. Some parts are missing, and I'm not sure if it's all totally right...but this is what it sounds like to me... :)


...Can you help me with this real fly guy
He just gets down with the seriousness of my type
His swag is peaking, its sky high
Hes fresh to death I hoping he don't fly high

Something bout his high tops
The notion makes my eyes pop
He says he makes my heart stop
Hes like a ticking time bomb
And I'm on cloud nine rocking in his arms tonight
He gets it any way he likes cuz he knows hes just my type

You've got a serious case, case of my type
You're just the type of boy, boy that I like
...
The way he looks at me
He wants a baby doll
And I'm a baby doll

I like his tats, his swag his clean
His game is tight, tighter than my Frankie jeans
I see him on every scene,
Brand new everything
I normally play hard to get but I would give him everything

Something bout his high tops
The notion makes my eyes pop
His dancing makes my heart stop
Hes like a ticking time bomb
And I'm on cloud nine rocking in his arms tonight
He gets it any way he likes cuz he knows hes just my type

[Chorus]
You've got a serious case, case of my type
You're just the type of boy, boy that I like
..
The way he looks at me
He wants a baby doll
And I'm a baby doll


Me and my girls are the baby dollz dollz
Him and his boys like the baby dollz dolzz
We in the party like the baby dollz dollz
We get it poppin' like the baby dollz dollz

[Chorus]
You've got a serious case, case of my type
You're just the type of boy, boy that I like
...
The way he looks at me
He wants a baby doll
And I'm a baby doll (repeat)

Re: Cause I'm a Ninja

Re: Entry from April 11, 2010

So...It's weird that I'm "Re-ing" other entries huh? I think so too. But really, this is what I should be doing: following you up on past events. Unfortunately.

So. That Facebook drahhhma? You have no idea how much drama it is. Well...was..LOL

The WORST part of it though? Even after all that accidental "work", I don't even think N hates me! I know, right? You're probably thinking WTF. Like me...hopefully. Otherwise there might just be something wrong with you too...But really, what in the world do I have to do to get this person to not just seriously dislike me, but hate me. I feel like I've done everything, well the worst things anyway. Any thoughts? No? Well, I'm sure this isn't a common problem. But it would make life oh, so much easier.

But really, WTF! I've been the worst kind of person. If you (N) hate me, I'll hate you, and everything will then be wrapped up in a nice little package.


PS. I feel like a TOTAL wuss except wuss isn't the right word for it... I would be the worst evil mastermind ever. Get halfway through and then spill the beans about everything to someone walking down the street past my universal death laser and eventually have to go to an insane asylum (only cause the judge who ruled my case was jealous and wanted my plan for himself) (Wow. Perhaps a nice padded, white room with a cozy white jacket wouldn't be such a bad place right now...)

Billionaire - Travie McCoy ft Bruno Mars

Find & follow me on Youtube at soldyouremine :)

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Re: WTF? (There's just this thing about ya)

Re: Entry from April 10, 2010

PLEASE. SOMEONE. ANYONE. Shoot me in the foot. Both feet, so I'll learn.

Cooler Than Me

Cooler Than Me - Mike Posner & the Brain Trust ft. Big Sean


Enjoy? :)

My favourites from the Christian Louboutin Spring/Summer 2010 collection...

How can this not be your favourite?! It's definitely mine :)

Words of Wisdom

A few pieces of advice that you should hereby treasure:

1. Don't ever play with a player. They know all your tricks.

2. Don't screw over a b-tch either! They know just how to get you :)

3. Don't assume that I have feelings, because I don't.

4. (A sub-section of #3) Don't assume that I will feel guilty, because (if I hate you) I will definitely not.




But, most importantly, don't get involved with my crazy.

Oh, what a glorious night...Part Deux

As we pull out of the Wal-mart parking lot and are turning onto the main road, the car starts to slow down...a LOT...to a crawl! So I says to Ashley "What's wrong...what's going on?!" She says the words that everyone dreads..."I think we ran out of gas"

So here we are...like 1/2 hr from the centre of the city...with no gas. She turns off the car, turns on the head lights and starts to think...Then she starts the car again. AND it works fine! I begin to have hope! Until...we reach the red light...and the car dies. For real this time. Thank the Lord we were on a small hill. So I tell her to put the car in neutral, and we get down to the side of the road aka an almost freeway, Terwillegar Dr/Anthony Henday.

So, here we are two stranded damsels in (mild) distress. Ashley calls her mom to bring us gas (since she didn't bring her AMA card with her...ACK!). Now, the waiting game begins. As everyone knows (or at least now you will), you should not stay in a vehicle that is parked on the side of the road. Luckily, Ashley had gone to Hawrelak park the day before (because of the amazing weather, of course), so she had a blanket! And...for some reason, a massive amount of scarves. So as the night got colder we watched the sunset...except not really because we were on the wrong side of the road for that...we got to see the beautiful view of the new complexes and houses being built complete with a giant barren field in the foreground!

Anyway, as we watched the lights of the condos flicker in the distance we start wondeirng if anyone would be a good Samaritan and actually stop for us. You know, just to see if we needed help. But no...no, why would we?! We're just two small girls, stranded on the side of a freeway...Of course you don't have to stop, good people! After about 1/2 hr a truck stops. The look of shock on our faces is...hard to break. An older gentleman (I say gentleman now because...of what comes after...) gets out of his truck and asks us if we need anything. We tell him no...no, but thank you so much! you've been the only one to stop! thank you! He soon drives off after realizing we really don't need anything.

A few minutes later: another truck stops (only trucks stopped for us!...odd) except this one seems...different. It backs up all the way so that it's about two feet in front of Maurice (Ashley's *female* car). So we see that there are about 4 people in this truck...and the driver is getting out. The reason I'm saying this is because I thought we were going to get killed. Really, I did. This big workboot steps out of the truck, followed by another one. A man comes around the corner; he looked like a construction worker or some such, and he was still wearing a reflective vest. Except...he didn't seem very "helpful". This is not to be sterotypical or anything, but just a description: he was "Middle Eastern", though I have a feeling the country exactly. So, this..."good samaritan" asks us is we need anything...We say the same thing as before "No, we're fine, but thanks for stopping, we only need gas, her mom is bringing it to us". Except with this guy...he doesn't stop there. He says "Oh, gas? I have some"

He goes to his truck, and gets a gerrican (sp?) of gas. As he is filling up the tank he starts to get even weirder. 1) Non stop eye-contact...in a very weird way. 2)He starts asking ...questions that get progressively stranger i.e Aren't you a little young to be driving (to Ashley); How old are you (first to Ashley then to me); What nationality are you (to me); What are you two doing tonight (to us....) - in response to this last one Ashley says, "Oh we're studying. We're in University you know" and he says "Oh (laugh) yeah right".

Just at that moment, Ashley's mom pulls up. THANK YOU JEBUS! This guy still won't go. Ashley's mom gets out of the car...he's still there. Her mom says "Oh thank you, but we're ok now" ...He's...still...there.

FINALLY he starts walking to the car, after Ashley gets it started. And we are safe in the comforting arms of Maurice. Ashley's mom follows behind us (while we use the borrowed gas) until we get to a gas station. While the creepers are still driving ahead of us.

So, that was our eventful evening. Hope you enjoyed. We almost sh*t a brick.

Oh, what a glorious night...

Oh, Ashley.

Friday, April 16. It started off as any other day would. School, test, home. Call Ashley...we were going to have a day out looking for new swimsuits. Everything is going as normal: we drive to WEM and start perusing the shops. I find a swimsuit, but alas there was nothing that caught Ashley's eye. I suggested we go to Wal-Mart. You know, cause they have some SWEET OP suits. I added..."We should totally go to Taco del Mar", to satisfy our obsession that started with a certain Chipotle's in NYC.
The meal...excellent, as always. We drive into the Wal-Mart parking lot and there is a stop sign to the right. Ashley believes that it's not for us, but for another side of traffic...we yeild the intersection, since there's no one around, and continue at abt 10km/hr. This...road-rager comes careening down the other direction and tries to make a hard turn in front of us! We stop, he stops, he yells, he swears. We freak. We continue through the parking lot and see this guy following us on the other aisle of the lot. Ashley suggests "Do you wanna go to a another Wal-Mart". "Uh...YEAH!" I respond.

So, on our way to Terwillegar Drive because of the crazy rude scary man. Terwillegar is wayy south, and involves going ona few "freeways". Anyway, we finish our shopping at the Wal-Mart and are on the way back into the "city" and to Ashley's house...

TO BE CONTINUED!

FOR REAL!

One of the many reasons I love OK Go

I've been waiting for months, waiting for years, waiting for you to change.
Aw, but there ain't much that's dumber, there ain't much that's dumber
than pinning your hopes on a change in another.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another.

So I been sitting around, wasting my time,
wondering what you been doing.
Aw, and it ain't real forgiving, it ain't real forgiving
sitting here picturing someone else living.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another.

I've been hoping for months, hoping for years, hoping I might forget.
Aw, but it don't get much dumber, it don't get much dumber
than trying to forget a girl when you love her.
And I, yeah I still need you, but what good's that gonna do?
Needing is one thing, and getting gettings another



When? When? Why not now? Why not me? Why not me?

Dear Dumb [expletive]

Facebook can only access so many people. I find a world-wide website a much better channel for thought.

A few things to say about this "note" before I actually respond.
1) Learn to put commas in the right place. You always misplace them, and it's become a pet peeve of mine.
2) It's funny that you think "v" would ever talk bad about me without me knowing
3) You've never "listened to me" since you've barely heard my voice
4) Obviously I'd know who I am. I don't have an identity crisis like someone we know...

Alright now:
Dear Dumb [expletive], <--that is where the comma goes btw

I don't like you. I have never liked you since I heard your name when I found out you were cheating with my boyfriend. You are a sl*t, and there are many stories, including ones from your friends, to prove it. I never wanted to get mixed up in your "relationship" (if you can call it that). You should tell your "boyfriend" to stop being so in love with me, if you really want anything to change. I can't change who I am, it's not my fault that he still wants me (correction always has wanted me) more than you (Yes, I know he will deny it, but don't worry the truth comes out anyway). If you want me to say sorry for that I will, but I am not the one you should be having a chat with. I shouldn't be the one to blame for "his" shortcomings, and the issues that you two have with each other. Nor should I be to blame for the numerous times you two have "broken-up"; I was never talking to your "boyfriend" when you broke up and it is not my fault that he would come to me to talk about how you hurt him. Another apology: sorry for being a nice person.

Please don't take your anger at the world, your "boyfriend", or gargantuan body out on me. I'm sorry God hates you. Take it out on people who will, in the future, give a rat's ass.

Sincerely,
Your Pal,
"Ugly B*tch"

PS (commas don't go here either!!!) If it makes you want to die...then just please, do it already.

PPS Please don't make me have to sully my beautiful site with drama about you ever again. It's unbecoming and unnecessary.



in response to:
Dear, Ugly Bitch

Looking at you, Listening to you, Hearing a certain someone (V) talk about you, makes me want to die!

:)

Ps, You know who you are

Cause I'm a ninja

ZOMG I lol at Facehbook drahma.

Sadly, I may have instigated some today.

Sadder to say: it was fun...

I finally like that N hates me. It's much easier to hate someone when they hate you back, unlike before when he'd cling to me like a lost puppy. Really, how can you kick a lost puppy? It's much easier to bitch-slap a grizzly bear.

Grizzly bear metaphor? That must mean it's time for bed.

WTF? (There's just this thing about ya)

OMFG

Excuse my language, bad grammar and the follow emo-tastic entry. I haven't yet read my last entry, so I'm not positive but I think this one follows along the same lines. But I am seriously starting to feel like I should be wearing heavy eye make up, teased hair and bangs in a 45 degree angle.

I know that I'll never understand them (N and F), but I wish and plead and HOPE that the next time I will know better than to get involved. EVERYTIME I say this, everytime I make a fool out of myself when N leaves me behind for F. Everytime I say "Nope, not again. I'll talk to them out of the goodness of my heart but never again will we be friends." Not only do we become friends but even he says that it just all falls right back into place. The stupidest part? It usually only takes a day or a conversation. That's how pathetic I am. After everything that happens I can't even stay mad or angry or dissapointed or hurt for ONE conversation. I don't know what it is about him. With every other single person who's even slightly hurt me or pissed me off, I've cut them out like ...a coral reef sting...? But with him, I have no idea what it is...just like I have NO idea WHY in the world they keep getting back together. After the cheating, the lying, the hitting, the yelling, the going-out-with-every-other-kind-of-person, he STILL runs back to her when she calls. I hate that. I hate her for doing it, and I now hate him the same for continuing it; even after all we talk about and all he talks [LIES] about he still OBVIOUSLY goes back.

Most of all, and worst of all, I hate myself for being such a pathetic wuss, and continuing to let either of them anywhere into my life.

No more.
Please someone shoot me in the foot if I do it again.


ps. expect me to have stubs at the bottom of my legs during the next entry.
pps. see, i even know it'll happen
ppps. gorsh, i hate myself.

Something is not right with me

Is insanely outraged at how rude people can be. Not just regular strangers either...but people that you could trust and that you were "friends with".

What does that word even mean nowadays anyway? To me a friend is something you have things in common with and that you also have a connection with...you can't have one without the other; someone who you can trust; someone who is loyal to you - someone who would rather defend you and become an outcast themselves than back-stab you; someone who genuinely cares about you, your interests, your feelings.

Considering all those things...I think that the number of true, by-my-definition friends that I've had in my life I can count on one hand. And I don't even need to use all my fingers!

Oh and a special quality that a friend needs to have for me, besides all of the above...? *I* need to not get bored/annoyed/have strangling feelings for them.

Now, this is not to say I haven't had a lot of people who are friendly, concerned (genuinely or not...), or nice to me. I have. But "friends"? They are extremely few and far between. For the most part it's been the loyalty/back-stabbing OR the me-getting-ridiculously-annoyed-of-them obstacles. For example, "N" will come back into my life every few months (why I allow this I doubt I'll ever know), and say how "he's" "missed me" and that "I'm important" and that "he" "likes how we can talk to each other". Now, let me let you in on a very important fact: "He" only does this when his (pardon my language) skank-ho-bag girlfriend and "he" are not getting along or on one of their many many break-ups. During these times "he" will never fail to A) get me to talk to "him" again B)get me to be friends with "him" again C)profess his love/like (depending on how long they've been apart for eg 1 day...1 week? Yeah, it never lasts long...) for me and how he wants to be with me.

And even though this is a pattern that hasn't stopped in oh...about 3 1/2 years, I never stop falling for the ruse (excepting the undying love bit). And that just makes me disappointed in myself! How could I, the person who has willingly and voluntarily cut people out of her life permanently so many times not do it to this person? (Quick segway, but not really because these are examples: Two "best friends" in junior high said "I don't like you anymore" so I stopped talking to them the next day and forever since. A "best friend", who I became friends with because of those two other girls, was the first and only person to know that I liked a boy-best-friend for the past year. She moves away. She didn't know him. They meet, because I introduce them so she can finally know who I'm talking about all the time...and begin dating a month later, after she claims "she didn't know I liked him at all" ---anyway....back to the topic at fingers) Because. I'm best friends with "his" sister. Ugh. How my life attracts drama like moths to a flickering light bulb on my porch.


I just wish that I could one day have friends (more than the one...and that one...the sister of the douchebag? even her...after 3 1/2 years, I'm on the outs with...but this is the only other time I've actually felt hurt about losing a friend) that are genuinely loyal, and care about me. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps...maybe I'm just being kooky....but a girl can dream, right?

Oh. Whatevs, I dont need your permission! I will dream anyway...bitches.

No. Kidding. I didn't mean that. <3

Unnatural Selection

Went to see Muse on Monday :) FINALLY
I wasn't expecting ALL that much...I do like them a lot, but it wasn't love.
It was THE BEST show I have ever been to, yes, that's right...including OK Go/Snow Patrol!
They had this amazing light show...and I'm not going to spoil it for anyone, but I will say that Yes, it is the best live show in the world!



In other news...I've just been heartbroken...or is it that I am heartbroken? Either way...I am single. I am hurt...but "relationships are like a broken glass...sometimes it's better to walk away that to hurt yourself trying to piece it back together..."

Update: As we speak I just got a phone call to further stress that people aren't always what they seem, no matter how long you've known them. They can change like the weather and it's ridiculous to let yourself trust someone so much.

Moral of today's lesson? Music is and always be my life. Concerts make up for heartache; music makes up for...everything.

Replacement Girl

So, you know that "certain person" I mentioned? The one that is a sibling to my "significant other"??? Well I forgot to tell you an important part of this chapter. I am in a relationship with that certain someone now...on Facebook...that doesn't make it official does it...?



PS I swear it's just to make *their* ex-significant-other jealous. The only reason I'm going along with is is because I hate her equally...actually, probably WAY more. And she's pissed so...Yay :D
PPS Did I mention that I also used to..."be with" this certain person?? Not for real...really. It sounds strange..remember I said it was a long story? So this makes it more weird...Not to mention the fact that...the night before last this certain person was making some..not so subtle hints to me about..earlier times.

I'm SORRY. I know I'm being extremely vague and playing the teenager-ridiculously-confusing card...and I would mention names, really! I would, except that I'm not sure who's eyes see these messages...Best left unmentioned. Even though if lurking eyes did happen to read this they'd would know who they are anyway, if they are any of the the above-mentioned people.

Alright. I'll let your thought processes (thought proci...is that the plural? lawlz) rest for now. Until I have more info, or leads, at least.

Hey Boy

OK so I shouldn't have swore that I would write! But I've been busy...and not just in a "I want to see you but I'm so busy" way that a bf says to his annoying gf who won't leave him alone. But I really have missed you and been busay.

Guess WHAT!!!
The Vampire Weekend concert was last Sunday :) It was amazing!! The experience sucked...but they were so so good live! I couldn't believe that they didn't sound like other people who sing live...ahem...Avril Lavigne...(live or recorded, I suppose it's the same lawlz). Did I mention that VW brought their own chandeliers?! Mhm, three of them that would sometimes light up to the beat of the song :) Oh and their backdrop was a huge "Contra Girl" as I call her. The cover of their 2nd cd...except GIANT AND sometimes during a song her eyes would like up like an evil psycho robot!

Their opener was a girl (woman?) called The Blow. She was ...strange to say the least, but I'm pretty sure that's what she was going for. She was really good though, better than most guests. Listen to "True Affection" and you'll be in love too. (Hey Boy is reallyyy good too :)

On another note, SPRING IS TODAY! 11am! My favorite season (minus the bottom of your pants getting gross from slush); I heard birds today!!!

Oh and in case ANYONE is interested...A certain someone (N) has seemed to find their way into my life again. I don't think that I've mentioned this person on here...possibly ever :S But it's a long and complicated journey; the gist is that they screw me over tons of times but I'm "significant other-ed (:D)" with their sibling, therefore cannot get rid of them. And so when I am forced to start talking to them again I tend to get too attached...until they screw me over yet again (never seems to fail). And so the hideous cycle continues...Hopefully (I'm sure I say this every time) this time they'll be nice and not go back to the [insert DOZENS of expletives and derogatory terms here] ex-gf again.

MUSE is on the 29'th of March! It's supposed to be one of the greatest concerts in N. America...or the world...? Anyway that should be supa AWESOME. I really wanted to go to Simon and Garfunkel in May but guess what? Tickets start at $70(!!) and go to $550(!!!!??!!). So I guess I won't see them before they pass...(lawlz)

I think you're up to date now...

PS I am now a Costa Rica specialist! But still have to complete the research/attractions part of the report :(
PPS I am now a Israel specialist (which makes me more happy than Costa Rica haha, and I did it for fun)

...it's the best time of the year

I LIED!!!! I can nay write today! Tomorrow. Swear.

Holiday

Sorry peeps. I feel like a letdown since there have been no posts since...JAN 29?! Holy...mother of pearl. Not that any of you care..unless you are reading this, then good for you. You're making both of us proud right now. ANYWAY I mean to say that I will be writing tonight. Be prepared (like a boy scout, you never know what may happen here).

A sneak peek you ask? Vampire Weekend. That is all. Tune in later if you are curious

Even if you aren't curious I expect you to read it. I mean please. It's just common courtesy.

(118)

"...until she shows up with Lars, from Norway"

"Who's Lars from Norway?"

"A guy she met at the gym with Brad Pitt's face and Jesus' abs."

Mon anniversaire

This brithday is ....bittersweet. I know right, what a time to get emo; on your BIRTHDAY. But it's weird feels happy about it but at the same time having a mid-mid-life crisis.
Alright, laugh it up. I thought you would...but really I am! It's one thing to thing oh I'm nineteen, but it's another to think oh...I'm nineteen...
Let me explain. It's the last teenage birthday, and for some reason it's making me feel really...down. Unlike everyone else who has been partying since they turned 18...I just feel like I'm getting old, without anything to really show for it yet.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy with my life so far...but it doesn't feel like I've actually "accomplished" anything.
I guess I'm just not where I thought I'd be at 19 or...shudder to even think it...my 20's...

Land Down Under

Doing this Australia project for Destinations II is awesome. I might post it after I'm all done. But..really...would you wanna take time out of your precious life to read my hard work? See, I doubt it. But I'm so happy that it's for Aussie :) totally helps with the September trip we're planning!

2010 already seems like it's gonna be SWEET
Feb 13-21 Hamilton
May 9-20 Costa Rica
mid-September ( for 1 month) Australia

March 14 Vampire Weekend
March 29 Muse

And that's just what I already know, in January!!

The Gaga Law

(RAH)² (AH)³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)² + OOH(LA)² = Bad Romance


Stolen from Clarice :)

I Stand Corrected

I am (not) going to a convention for Twilight and Vampire Diaries fans.

No, no.

I am going to Vampire Weekend!!!!!



Sure, it'll be at Edmonton Event Centre...not the greatest because of all the "pre-teens" (sure they're like 14 but still...they're pre-teens.).
BUT it's not the worst either because it's very likely I'll get to meet them. Can you imagine? I just hope I don't "Liz".

LOL!

I'm Lizzing!

First post of the New Year! And New Decade :D
and hopefully this one makes you "Liz"



"Look, Jack, I don't have a lot of personal life experience, but if I have learned anything from my Sims family, when a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop till he pees himself."

-Liz Lemon, 30 Rock