Where were we?

I think this is the longest break you and I have taken since we met.
I feel as if every new post is an apology for my previous absence...But I think you and I are better than that. I feel as we mature, our relationship matures with us. Right?

All that garbage basically means that I feel as if we can spend time apart and still come back together and everything just falls into place. Just how it was meant to be.

The only problem when you take a longer-than-usual break from someone there is always more to catch up on...and less to talk about. Unless you want details from every single day from the past almost 4 months (?! SERIOUSLY. WTF), it would be impossible to fill you in on everything. And even if you DID want that...I would like to NOT get carpel tunnel.
Long stories short:
- I like boys, but boys are complicated. However I'm more complicated that meets the eye, and 10x worse than any fella. I've started to feel bad for them.
- One important boy seems to be clinging to a spot in my brain and/or heart. And it's extremely lame. Wish I could shake him...maybe someday...but for now he's just another one that's messing me up.
- One important boy was all wrong for me, yet I liked him more than I could tell anyone. He liked me more than I would've thought. I turned him down, then still liked him, and while trying to show him that I cared I may or may not have lost his trust. Permanently. That's never happened before. What are you supposed to do after losing someones trust? I guess the coming months will (or won't) tell us.
- The most important boy right now and for the past while has been the most patient, funny and nice person I've met in a long time. And more surprisingly, it all seems pretty genuine. Not to be the height of narcissism, but I think this one might be TOO good for me. Actually. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. No. It def is, but what it leads me to think is "After this year, and everything that's happened, how do I stay good enough?"
- I got's a new job. Dream job! I start this Monday...and it should be...interesting to say the least :)
- I'm going to Portugal, for a month this July/August! I feel as if I should settle for a while after that eh?
- OH! And I went to the Cayman Islands for 2 weeks. Love it? There was no other option :)


In VERY short...my life has gone to the boys. And well...I suppose it's been quite a few years now that I've learned NOTHING. Oh boy(s).